Say ‘I do’ – Your invitation to our big day 🗓

Say ‘I do’ – Your invitation to our big day 🗓

Say ‘I do’– Your invitation to our big day 🗓 Feb 20, 2019 March 24, 2019 News
Don’t pass up the opportunity to try our wedding fayre. Avoid the scrum and book your big day early!
is inviting soon-to-be brides and grooms along with their friends and families to the 2019 Wedding and Partnership Fayre at the Halton Stadium.
This free event will take place on Sunday 24 March from 12noon to 4pm at the Halton Stadium, Lowerhouse Lane, Widnes and has the added attraction of a prize draw for couples attending.
Entry to the draw means they have the opportunity to win £1000 off a new full day wedding booking.
Guests can tour the various impressive suites and will have the opportunity to discuss with the staff all their various requirements for their big day.
There will be a huge variety of products and services to cater to lots of different wedding and partnership needs.
The exhibitors will include caterers, entertainers, florists, event planners, hair and beauty, jewellers, licenced venues, photographers, transport and wedding wear.
’s Executive Board Member for Registration, Cllr Stef Nelson, said: “We know that planning a wedding or a partnership day is a big deal. Our advice is to plan early, so nearer the time you are not rushing around trying to find those last minute essential services.”
There will be lots of original ideas, to give your wedding a special flavour.
The event is free and there will be lots of giveaways on the day. There is a £5 one course carvery, parking is also free of charge and directions can be found on the Halton Stadium website.
For more information visit: or call 0151 510 6020.
You can keep up to date with the latest updates on social media at Follow Us

Hard AT WORK Cover Reveal

Title: Hard at Work
Series: Nice and Dirty #3 Author: Lola StVil Genre: Dark Alpha Romance
Cover Design: Maialen Alonso
Release Date: February 25, 2019
When a clumsy waitress spilled a drink on me, I looked up to see who this woman was. Her name is Aria Stevens. She is gorgeous and her curves are so dangerous they should come with a warning.
When her boss fires her for spilling the drink, I offer her a job at my firm. I find out that not only is she hot, she’s also smart and funny. I want her so damn bad; it hurts. But she’s skittish and shies away from me. I thought she was staying away because I’m her Boss, but its more than that; she’s a virgin.
Now that I know, I have plans for Aria and I will make sure that I claim not only her body but also her heart and soul. She says she’s single because men are hard to deal with. But I’ll show her that a hard man is exactly what she needs.
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What the fuck am I doing here? That’s the question that keeps on running through my head as I circulate around the governor’s ball. Yeah, the fucking governor’s ball. It’s so not my scene, but it’s the sort of event that opens doors. You get seen at a place like this, and the money in the room knows your business is trustworthy. I fit in because I force myself to, but my suit itches and irritates me. I’d be so much more comfortable in jeans and a tool belt, but as the owner of Colton Blackwell Industries, I find myself in a suit way more often than I’d like. I smile politely and nod as a woman dripping in diamonds and wearing a little too much of over-expensive foreign scent tells me her issues with the current political system for the fourth time. I’m trying to figure out how the fuck I can get away from her without being outright rude, when I see her. A vision. An actual fucking angel. I can only see her from the back, but the way her black cocktail dress hugs her hips makes her ass captivate me. I feel my cock stiffening as I look her over. She’s tall, but she’s not one of those girls who try to shrink themselves. She has her shoulders back, her head held high. She balances the tray of champagne on her hand with ease, moving through the crowd with a quiet grace. The electric-blue streak in her jet-black hair makes her look exotic, like she knows how to kick back and some fun. I have no idea what the woman talking to me is saying. From the second my eyes set on that waitress, there’s been no room in my head for anything else. I see myself walking up behind her, taking the tray from her, and throwing it to one side. I stand behind her, push her dress up, and rip away her panties. I bend her over the table and fuck her senseless. “Mr. Blackwell? Are you all right?” Hearing my name pulls me out of the fantasy and I turn back to the conversation. I fake a smile. “Yes. Sorry, I felt a little dizzy for a moment there,” I say. “Would you excuse me? I think I need a bit of air.” I walk away before she has a chance to reply, and I’m sure I offended her, but it would surely offend her more if she happened to glance down and see I had a hard-on. I slip into the bathroom and lock the door, leaning back against it, waiting it out until my cock goes down. I want to jerk off, to let my fantasies run wild as I picture the waitress. If the front of her is even half as pleasing on my eye as the back, then fuck me am I in trouble if I see her again. I am shocked at the reaction she caused in me. I haven’t so much as glanced at a woman in almost two years. There’s no deep reason for it, no skeleton in my closet. I just got sick of being part of the dating scene. It’s a mess of gold diggers, social climbers, and women with whom I just had nothing in common and no chemistry. But her? She awoke a side of me I thought was gone for good. The side of me that wants to make her scream my name through her raw throat as she comes for the third and fourth time. The side that makes me want to taste her pussy, claim it as mine and fuck her all day, every day. Thinking this way is doing nothing to get my hard-on to go away, and I resign myself to the fact that I’m going to have to jerk off in the governor’s bathroom. Not something I ever saw myself doing. But then, I didn’t know that such a rare beauty existed, that such fire could course through my body and make me lose complete control. I take care of my business and clean my cock with some toilet paper. I flush it away and wash my hands. I walk back out into the room. I stand on the edges, scanning the room, but I don’t see her. Instead I see an ocean of wealthy, glamorous, small-minded, fake people—the in crowd. I can fake the smiles and feign interest in things I don’t give a rat’s ass about, but I’ll never be one of them. Not really. I don’t want to be. I want Colton Blackwell Industries to flourish, and I like the fact I’m only twenty-nine and already a millionaire, but it hasn’t changed who I am. And who I am is not one of these people. I’m just a normal guy who turned his passion into a business. I was shocked when the governor called me and asked me to complete a large extension on one of his properties. I was even more surprised when he personally oversaw the job. And the last thing I expected was an invite to his ball. I mean, come on. Like, what the actual fuck? It’s been a whole lot of surprises, and the most surprising part of it all is my reaction to the waitress. Part of me wants to stay right here until I see her again, but part of me wants to turn around, leave, and try to forget her. That won’t be easy, but I swore off women and I have no intention of that changing. Just because she looks so damn good in a dress doesn’t mean she’ll be different than the rest, and I have no intention of getting involved with her or anyone else. I decide to give it another half an hour and then slip away. To leave too early would be seen as a snub on the governor, and I’m not an idiot. I know that, as much as I hate this fake shit, to land big projects, you have to know the right people. I decide to go out on the balcony and get some fresh air like I said I was. I start to cross the room, nodding hello at the few faces I recognize as I go. I am halfway across when my cell phone buzzes in my pocket. I fish it out and look down at the screen. Before I even register who it is, I feel someone collide with me. A loud clatter fills the air, and I feel champagne soaking into my expensive suit. I stand there, frozen in time. Not because of the champagne, but because I find myself face to face with my girl. Her face is a mask of horror, but she is still beautiful. She has big brown doe eyes that stare back at me with the same intensity I am staring at her. Her lips are full, red and sensuous, and I can’t help imagining how they would feel wrapped around my cock. She looks every bit as good from the front as she did from the back. Her breasts aren’t big, but they are perky, and I want to caress them, to pull them into my mouth. I feel my cock starting to rise again. I remind myself that I’m done with dating, but something tells me this waitress will break that resolve without trying. There’s something special about her. Something that scares me. Because when I look at her, I don’t see a quick fuck and a goodbye. I see a lifetime.
I hate being a waitress. There, I said it. The thing is, I need this job. The pay is reasonable and the tips make it good money. Good enough to pay for business school and cover my bills and not intense enough that I can’t get any studying done. The most annoying thing about waitressing is that even though I hate it, I’m pretty good at it. I look good enough in a tight black dress, I can be unobtrusive, and I have decent skills when it comes to balancing overloaded drinks trays on my hands. It’s not my passion, though. My passion is business, but I want to learn the ropes before I dive in. I’m only twenty-one; I have plenty of time to do this the right way. I walk around the room with my tray of drinks, smiling politely, subtly collecting up empty glasses, and generally wishing I was anywhere but here. “Excuse me, miss,” someone behind me calls. I turn my head and realize they are talking to one of the other waitresses. I turn back the way I’m walking, but it’s too late. I collide with a man. The tray flies from my hand, hundreds of dollars’ worth of glassware crashes to the ground, and the champagne from all those glasses soaks him. I freeze, looking at the mess I made. And then my eyes meet his. His eyes are dark brown, almost black. They are stormy and dangerous and utterly addictive. I feel a rush of wetness between my legs as his piercing gaze locks on to mine. Great. I’m practically coming in my panties and he’s going to yell at me. The more I look at him, the wetter and more flustered I get. I wish I spotted him sooner, like before I’d doused him in expensive champagne. Not that it matters. Someone like him wouldn’t waste their time with a waitress. And besides, I have a boyfriend and I’m not the kind of girl who cheats. I’m generally not the kind of girl who gets wet looking at strangers, either. I manage to pull my gaze from his long enough to take in the expensive suit I ruined and the taut muscles beneath it. I feel myself tingling as I take him in. I realize that the crashing sound of the tray falling to the floor has caused everyone in the room to fall silent. I feel heat start to flush my cheeks. I wait for him to make a scene. I am so fired. I don’t know what to do. Should I run for a towel? Clean up the glass? I should at least apologize. “I … I’m so sorry,” I stammer. My words break the spell, and the tantrum never comes. The man gives me a half shrug and smiles, a smile that lights up his eyes and sends another shiver running through me. He crouches down and begins to pick up the pieces of broken glass. I see the governor rushing toward us. He nods subtly to another waiter, who takes the hint: get the mess cleaned up. The conversation in the room starts up again as the other guests realize they’re staring. The governor reaches us. “Colton, I’m so sorry about this.” He doesn’t give Colton a chance to respond before he turns to me. “What’s your name?” he demands. “Aria. Aria Stevens, sir,” I whisper. “Well, Aria Stevens, it’s time for you pack your things and get out of here. And I’ll make sure you never work in this town again. You’re a disgrace.” I feel tears flood my eyes. I need this job. “I …” I start. I stop, knowing I won’t be able to say any more without crying. Colton glares at the governor and then turns to me. He smiles and holds out his hand. “Hi. I’m Colton Blackwell,” he says. “And I’d love to have you.”
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Author Bio
Lola StVil is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author who writes Fantasy in addition to Contemporary romance. She has written over a dozen books and loves taking her readers on an emotional roller coaster ride. She is currently living in California and enjoys staying in touch with her readers.
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GREEN NEW DEAL is ‘Recipe for Killing Almost Everyone on Planet Earth’ Says Former Co-Founder of Greenpeace
By Geri Ungurean On February 13, 2019
Since 2015, I have been writing articles on the Georgia Guide Stones and the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals.
What do these have in common? The Georgia Guide Stones (GGS), an eerie monument of sorts, clearly spells out the Globalist’s agenda for our planet. There are ten commandments on GGS, which has been called the “Stonehenge” of America.
Here are the ten commandments engraved on the stones:
– Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
-Guide reproduction wisely — improving fitness and diversity.
-Unite humanity with a living new language.
-Rule passion — faith — tradition — and all things with tempered reason.
-Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
-Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
-Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
-Balance personal rights with social duties.
-Prize truth — beauty — love — seeking harmony with the infinite.
-Be not a cancer on the earth — Leave room for nature — Leave room for nature
I want the reader to focus on the first commandment about maintaining humanity under 500 million people. Since the earth now has approximately 7.7 BILLION people, if you do the math, you will see that the globalists want to kill off around 95% of human population! YES – you read that correctly.
Here is the article if you have not read it:
The Georgia Guide Stones, Population Control and the Coming Antichrist
Sustainable Development Goals of the U.N.
Here is the article I wrote on the 2015 meeting of the U.N. regarding “Sustainable Development Goals”
Preparing the World for Antichrist: The U.N. Sustainable Development Goals
Alex Newman of “The New American” wrote a startling piece recently. It seems that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (the new Socialist representative in Congress) co-authored what is being called “The Green New Deal.” Alex attended an event in Calgary, Alberta Canada, where he met the former Co-Founder of Greenpeace, Patrick Moore. Mr. Moore had MUCH to say about the dangerous legislation which is being pushed by the Dems in the House.
Green New Deal Would Kill Almost Everyone, Warns Greenpeace Co-Founder
CALGARY, Canada — The “Green New Deal” proposed by congressional Democrats is a “recipe for mass suicide” and the “most ridiculous scenario I ever heard,” Greenpeace Co-Founder Patrick Moore (shown) warned in an exclusive interview with The New American. In fact, Dr. Moore warned that if the “completely preposterous” prescriptions in the scheme were actually implemented, Americans could be forced to turn to cannibalism to avoid starvation — and they still would not survive. Other experts such as Craig Rucker, the executive director of the environmental group Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow (CFACT), also sounded the alarm about the “green” proposal in Congress, comparing it to Soviet five-year plans and calling it a “prescription for disaster.”
The so-called Green New Deal is a massive scheme to, among other goals, restructure the U.S. economy. It is being advanced by a coalition of radical communist and socialist Democrats in Congress led by U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.). A resolution (H. Res. 109) “recognizing the duty of the Federal Government to create a Green New Deal (GND)” already has 67 co-sponsors in the House. If the scheme outlined in the resolution expressing the “sense of the House” is implemented, it would seek to eliminate air travel, the eating of steaks, the use of hydrocarbons, and more. It would aim to completely end all emissions of CO2 — an essential gas exhaled by every living person and required by plants — over the coming decade.
Moore, who was one of six international directors of Greenpeace, was flabbergasted that something so ludicrous could even be proposed, much less be advanced in the U.S. government. “It is quite amazing that someone that is in government — actually elected to the government of the United States of America — would propose that we eliminate all fossil fuels in 12 years,” he said in an on-camera interview with The New American from Canada. “This would basically result, if we did it on a global level, it would result in the decimation of the human population from 7-odd billion down to who knows how few people.” It would end up killing almost everyone on the planet, he added.
Worse than mass death would be the way people reacted. “It would basically begin a process of cannibalization among the human species, because the food could not be delivered to the stores in the middle of the cities anymore,” Moore continued. “The point that bothers me the most is that if you eliminated fossil fuels, every tree in the world would be cut for fuel. There is no other source for heating and cooking once you eliminate fossil fuels. You could use animal dung, if there were any animals left, but the animals would all die too because they would all get eaten.”

The best free iPhone games of 2019

Wednesday, 20 February 2019 The best free iPhone games of 2019
Free iPhone games have a reputation for being rubbish and full of IAP. But loads of superb free titles await your twitchy gaming thumbs – if you know where to look.
To save you the effort of finding them, we’ve compiled the best here, split into handy categories. So if you fancy an arcade blast, a brain-bending puzzle, or a thrilling racer – for free – read on.
Plus, check back weekly for our free iPhone game of the week, which you’ll find below. Free iPhone games of the week: King Crusher
King Crusher comes across like someone compressed an epic fantasy RPG and turn-based strategy into a shoebox and squirted the result into your iPhone. It has all the trappings of its more expansive cousins, but is perfectly streamlined for mobile play.
Your little band embarks on quests that mostly take the form of grid-based battles. As adversaries try to shoot, flatten or even eat the heroes, you must swipe them about, getting them into the best positions to mete out some punishment of their own.
With dozens of events and 12 character classes, there’s plenty to discover in King Crushe, but its bite-sized nature means it won’t rule over your day, instead filling odd moments with tiny procedurally-generated adventures fit for a king.
Our favorite free iPhone arcade games, including brawlers and fighting games, auto-runners, party games, pinball, and retro classics. Unicycle Giraffe
Unicycle Giraffe is a balancing game that features a unicycle and a giraffe. Unfortunately for the giraffe, it attempts to ride said unicycle – not a comfortable state of being for the typical ungulate. It’s all very comical, though, as your giraffe wobbles left and right, before seconds later inevitably crashing to the floor in a tangle of legs and neck.
Despite being a one-note game, Unicycle Giraffe rewards mastery with the sheer thrill of staying seated for a few precious extra seconds. Rescuing yourself from very nearly overbalancing is fun, and extra risk comes by way of coins and bombs to tap elsewhere on the screen.
There’s little longevity, of course (short of ‘upgrading’ the animal with new hats and skins), but this one’s endearing, and always good for a quick blast. Don’t Trip
Don’t Trip has you direct stompy feet through increasingly surreal terrain. You start off in a kitchen that could do with a tidy-up. Last long enough and you find yourself avoiding crazed vacuum cleaners decked out with knives and axes. Eventually, you end up fleeing from lava, splashing in swimming pools and walking in space.
This all comes off as quite trippy, and that’s only exacerbated by the viewpoint and controls. Everything is zoomed in to the point you can barely see where to head, and the controls have you press the screen to plant a foot, and rotate your phone to find space for the next step. Don’t Trip! really is a game very much designed with mobile in mind – and it’s all the better for it. Super Fowlst
Super Fowlst is an arcade game featuring a flappy chicken out to stop angry red demons from taking over the world. This heroic fowl can flap left or right at the command of one of your thumbs, briefly flying in an arc – or plummeting to the ground when you don’t prod the screen again.
The aim throughout is to biff enemies (while avoiding the projectiles they spew), grab bling, and make for the exit. As you travel through the procedurally generated levels, you’ll discover secrets, weird bits of landscape, and ferocious bosses looking to turn you into a roast dinner. Fortunately, coins you collect can be traded for upgrades, including the ability to fire rockets from your behind. Clucking great? You betcha. Bacon
Bacon reasons you should put bacon on everything, to make it taste better. You start by dropping a slice on to a sizzling pan. Another tap and it’s flipped on to a cheeseburger for an instant food hack. Next up: pancakes. Everyone knows pancakes taste better with bacon.
Next up, it’s, um, a piña colada, and then a map of the United States of America. You’re invited to create ‘Napoleon Baconaparte’, add bacon to the MSCI World Index, and make an iOS alert extra tasty by draping bacon on top of it.
Not the most sensible of games, then, but Bacon’s a great way to infuse tasty fun into the odd spare moment. The bacon physics is great, the objects you’re faced with are imaginative, and some of the levels are surprisingly challenging. Train Party
Train Party is an arcade-oriented puzzle game designed for multiple people to play together. Between two and 12 people on the same Wi-Fi network do their best to keep the train on time, largely by laying down tracks in front of it. In order to avoid disastrous derailment, you must also figure out how to deal with roaming wildlife and a renegade track bomber.
There are two ways to play: collaboratively and competitively. In the former case, the train always heads to the player with the most complete track, so you can keep going for as long as possible. In competition mode, though, the train goes around devices in order, and the winner is the last person not to turn the 9:45 to Washington Union Station into a crumpled heap of twisted metal. Orbia
Orbia is a one-thumb action game where you dash between targets, avoiding orbiting monsters. The path onwards is always pre-set, so this game is all about timing – waiting for the exact moment to sneak through a gap rather than ending up getting horribly killed.
It might not be particularly innovative, but although you’ve probably seen a game like this before, Orbia is worth downloading. It looks pretty great, with a nicely cartoonish vibe. The levels and approaches are nicely varied, as is the pace, which veers between Matrix-style slo-mo and like someone’s slammed down a fast-forward button.
With hundreds of levels and a slew of skins to collect (each of which offers unique abilities), Orbia should keep you dashing for some time. A Hollow Doorway
A Hollow Doorway finds a rectangular doorway spinning into the void. Its survival depends on your thumb – dragging left and right to align the doorway with an endless number of rapidly approaching concentric walls. Imagine Super Hexagon , if the game was instead called Super Rectangle, and only required one of your thumbs for controlling things, rather than two.
Initially, the overt simplicity makes A Hollow Doorway seem throwaway, and surprisingly basic from the brains behind superb platformer Circa Infinity and the insanely tricky Yankai’s puzzlers.
But there’s nuance here. Each of the game’s nine zones has its own character, often melding with the excellent audio. And for the long-term, these zones have a theoretically infinite range of difficulty modes – enough to push even the twitchiest of dexterous thumbs to its absolute limits. Beat Street
Beat Street is a touchscreen brawler that wears its influences on its sleeve. The pixelated art recalls classic beat ’em ups, and the stop-start gameplay – with occasional unsporting use of baseball bats to bash enemies around the head – smacks of Double Dragon and Streets of Rage.
Yet this isn’t slavish retro fare. The game feels familiar, but its set-up is entertainingly oddball (liberating a city being terrorized by sentient, bipedal, suited rodents), and everything is controlled by a single thumb.
The controls could have spelled the end for Beat Street, but – amazingly – they work brilliantly, enabling deft footwork, punches, kicks, special moves, and the means to smash an evil rat’s face in with a brick. Apart from unnecessary grind-to-unlock levels, Beat Street’s the perfect freebie iPhone brawler. BotHeads
BotHeads looks like a low-rent Badland game, with its colorful backgrounds, and levels full of silhouettes. But BotHeads plays very differently, being more about precision than semi-controlled chaos – even if you’re often pelted along against your will.
Your BotHead has two thrusters to keep it aloft. You travel rightwards, towards periodic checkpoints that allow a few seconds’ breathing space. Levels are full of hazards, from pinball-like bumpers that hurl you off-course to giant saw blades.
That wouldn’t be so bad, but the aim is to get through the entire game in one go. By means of ‘encouragement’, the trails of ex-BotHeads from failed attempts appear in the background of subsequent attempts. It all combines to make for an immediate, compelling blend of styles and ideas that’s perfectly suited to iPhone. Train Bandit
Train Bandit isn’t exactly nuanced. It depicts a showdown on top of a train, where a bandit faces off against an endless stream of foes, all of whom are quick on the draw – and armed to the teeth.
The bandit’s not going to take his impending demise lying down – instead, he’ll take as many of the enemies with him as he can. You therefore tap left and right to dart between carriages, kicking enemies in the face before they shoot you.
Make one wrong move and you’re dead. Misread the type of enemy you’re facing and you’re dead. Pause for a fraction of a second too long and you’re dead. You get the picture. But the great thing about being a bandit in a videogame – you can always be resurrected for another quick go. Memory Path
Memory Path is a simple memory test that showcases how polish and smart design can transform the most basic of concepts into an essential download.
Across 50 levels, you tap left or right to move along a path toward a goal. The twist is the path disappears shortly after you enter a level. Initially, remembering where to go isn’t tough, but later levels are likely to find your adventurer regularly impaled before you finally succeed.
Levels complete, you’ll feel fully trained for the endless modes. Random shuffles the order in which you tackle levels; and Race Path is all about speed – how far you can get before the road ahead vanishes. Sharp isometric graphics, a gentle soundtrack, and unlockable characters further boost the game’s longevity. Fish & Trip
In Fish & Trip , you command a single smiling fish, happily swimming in the ocean depths. Using your finger, you direct the fish towards eggs and other stragglers, the latter of which join you to gradually form a school. Unfortunately, everything else in the sea is hungry for a fish dinner.
At first, you’ll spot spiky anemones and the occasional sluggish green fish with big teeth. But eventually, you’ll be zig-zagging through claustrophobic seas, trying to find new friends to keep your school alive, and avoiding massive sharks that show up to the theme from Jaws.
It’s all rather simple, and may eventually pall. But in the short term at least, Fish & Trip is one of those wonderful and rare iPhone games pretty much guaranteed to plaster a smile on your face. Don’t Grind
Given Laser Dog’s tendency to make infuriatingly difficult games, Don’t Grind at first seems like a departure. You control a little cartoon banana, keeping it in the air – and away from massive saw blades – by tapping the screen and swiping to move a bit. It’s like a pleasant keepie-uppie effort – for a few seconds.
After that point, all hell breaks loose, with your worried-looking fruit having to escape a squishy, painful death by avoiding laser guns, rockets, and all manner of other hazards intent on shoving it towards the blades.
Collect enough stars while tapping the screen and you can unlock new victims. If you’re terrible, there are no shortcuts to bolster your collection either – the only IAP is to get rid of the ads. Brutal. PinOut!
If you’re a fan of knocking metal balls about, you’re likely frustrated with iPhone pinball. Even an iPhone Plus’s display is a bit too small, resulting in a fiddly experience replete with eye strain. Enter PinOut! , which rethinks pinball in a manner that works perfectly on the smaller screen.
In PinOut’s neon-infused world, you play against the clock, hitting ramps to send your ball further along what’s apparently the world’s longest pinball table. Rather than losing a ball should it end up behind the flippers, you merely waste vital seconds getting back to where you were. When the clock runs out: game over.
The result is exciting and fresh, and the relatively simple mini-tables are ideal for iPhone. Moreover, the game’s immediacy makes it suitable for all gamers, overcoming pinball’s somewhat inaccessible nature.
Our favorite free iPhone games where you sprint, jump, drive, hoverboard, dig or pinball to victory – or your doom. Transformers Bumblebee
Transformers Bumblebee hurls you back to the halcyon days of the original Generation One Transformers, before Michael Bay got his hands on the franchise. Here, the boxy, heroic Autobots valiantly try to stop the evil Decepticons from taking over the world – mostly by driving around a lot and then blowing things up.
The entire game is controlled with a single finger, whether you’re zooming along freeways in car mode, engaged in a bout of vehicular combat against Decepticon enemies, or shooting at anything that moves (or doesn’t) in a Decepticon base.
Survive long enough and you get to battle one of the bad guys. These boss battles are varied and entertaining – and you must quickly figure out how they work, lest your ‘bot’s alternate mode ends up being a pile of smoldering scrap. PAKO Forever
PAKO Forever seemingly takes place in a world where law-enforcement really doesn’t want you mucking about in what appears to be the world’s largest parking lot. The second you move, police cars are on you like a shot, and if one smashes into you, that’s your lot.
Pretty quickly, you figure out that you need to drift and snake about to survive – and then you start seeing gigantic gift boxes bouncing along. Snag one of those and your car temporarily balloons to giant size, or acquires a handy ball and chain to smash the cops.
Visually, the game’s quite crude, and the staccato nature of missions can pall, but for a quick blast of breezy endless driving larks, it’s a decent install. Bendy in Nightmare Run
Bendy in Nightmare Run dumps you in a world of seriously messed up cartoons. Crackly audio and glitchy black-and-white visuals recall 1920s animation, but with content apparently ferried in from a nightmare dimension.
Each level has your hero run towards the screen, fleeing a pursuing horror and its legions of tiny – yet equally ferocious – minions. You swipe between three lanes and lob collected weapons behind you with a tap. Do this enough times and your aggressor finally gets the hint and slinks off.
In gameplay terms, there’s little here you’ve not seen before – Bendy is more or less Temple Run flipped 180 degrees – but the presentation alone makes the game worth an install. Just be aware this nightmare run has a difficulty level that, if not nightmarish, is at least very challenging. Will Hero
Will Hero is a superb one-thumb arcade game that features a blocky hero dashing through a world of levitating islands, being all heroic and duffing up enemies. His foes are mostly bouncing cubes, and you must carefully time dashes to pass beneath them, or engineer collisions to knock them into the abyss.
Crack open a chest you find on your travels, and you’ll get weapons that transform dashes into violent attacks. Add in the game’s collectible helms (from unlocking loot crate chests), and you’ll end up with many potential weapons to choose from, including missiles and colossal swords.
Will Hero is fast-paced, inventive, and a lot of fun. It has a unique feel, and pleasingly bucks convention when you rescue a princess. When you do so, she tags along on subsequent adventures, gleefully hacking away at the enemies who once imprisoned her. ARcade Plane
ARcade Plane – with emphasis in the ‘AR’– combines the complex and the simple, providing you with an augmented reality gaming experience controlled by a single digit.
The game projects a tiny city on to a nearby surface, above which a plane circles. It’s low on fuel and – for reasons unknown – must grab a set number of stars before it lands. The tiny snag: the city is rather suspiciously surrounded by extremely tall, spiky hills – and between them is where the stars are found.
You hold the screen to dive, carefully timing doing so to snatch up stars, then release the screen so your plane briefly soars heavenward again. All the while, your city grows and you unlock more planes. Simple stuff, then, but an effective and fun use of AR that anyone can get into. Amazing Katamari Damacy
Amazing Katamari Damacy is a deeply weird endless runner. It’s based on a popular PlayStation 2 game, where a tiny prince rolls a magical ball (the titular katamari) into smaller things to make it grow.
On iPhone, the original’s free-roaming nature has been dispensed with, but its bonkers premise remains. You start off rolling nails into your ball, but it quickly balloons to take on toys, vehicles, and entire buildings.
The controls are a touch slippy – although better in tilt than swipe – and games can be lengthy. But this one’s a visual treat, with an interesting twist that makes it worth a look even if you’re tiring of games where you endlessly sprint into the screen. Power Hover: Cruise
Power Hover: Cruise is three endless runners (well, surfers ) for the price of one. It borrows the boss battle levels from the superb, beautiful Power Hover , and expands on them. You get to speed through a booby-trapped pyramid, avoid projectiles blasted your way by an angry machine you’re chasing through a tunnel, and whirl around a track that snakes through the clouds.
This is a gorgeous game, with silky animation and minimal, but vibrant objects and scenery. The audio is excellent, too – the rousing electronic soundtrack urging you on.
There are a couple of snags: games can abruptly end due to difficulty spikes, and the controls initially seem floaty. But we grew to love the inertia, which differentiates Power Hover: Cruise and makes it feel like you’re surfing on air. As for the difficulty, spend time learning the hazards and mastering the game, and you’ll soon be climbing the high score tables. Leap On!
Leap On! is an endless jumper with a sadistic streak – at least as far as its bounding protagonist goes. The two-eyed ball is tied to a central spiked star by a huge piece of elastic. Whenever you hold the screen, the hero moves in a clockwise direction.
The snag is hitting the spiked star spells instant doom – as does touching anything else that’s black. At first, this mostly means jumping on white orbs, and avoiding the odd lurking blob, but before long, the star starts lobbing all manner of ball-killing stuff your way.
You can fight back by grabbing power ups and smashing the white bits of projectiles, while chasing dual high scores – how many white orbs you hit, and your furthest distance from the star. Leap On! is admittedly a bit one note, but the pacy, chaotic gameplay very much appeals in short bursts. Dashy Crashy
Although, at its core, this is a fairly standard lane-based survival game (swipe to avoid traffic; don’t crash), Dashy Crashy has loads going on underneath the surface. It’s packed full of neat features, such as pile-ups, a gorgeous day/night cycle, and random events that involve maniacs hurtling along a lane, smashing everything out of their way.
It also cleverly adds value to mobile gaming’s tendency to have you collect things. In Dashy Crashy, you’re periodically awarded vehicles, but these often shake up how you play the game. For example, the cop car can collect massive donuts for bonus points, and an army jeep can call in tanks – just like you wish you could when stuck in slow-moving traffic. Disney Crossy Road
Disney Crossy Road builds on the endless Frogger-style hopping shenanigans found in Crossy Road, mostly by mashing it into a ton of famous Disney properties.
It kicks off with a fairly humdrum take on the original, just with Mickey Mouse instead of a chicken, trying very hard to move ever onwards and not get run over by cars or drown in a river. But you soon start winning coins, enabling you to unlock new characters.
When you get to visit blocky endless takes on Toy Story, Lion King, Wreck-It Ralph, Monsters Inc, and more, sound and vision alike get a major overhaul. Even better: many of these worlds offer subtle changes to the way the game plays, making it more varied, and boosting long-term appeal. Cubed Rally Redline
Cubed Rally Redline is an endless racer. You zoom along, switching between five clearly defined lanes, until you inconveniently smack into something, thereby making your car explode in a way that causes a serious drop in its resale value.
As you keep an eye ahead for obstacles – rocks; tunnels; massive stompy car-smashing dinosaurs – you also need to grab fuel that’s been left lying around, and bonus score tokens. Do well enough and you can unlock new cars.
These vehicles can dramatically change the look and feel of the race, and to keep shaking things up, Cubed Rally Redline will automatically switch you between items in your collection part-way through races. Fun stuff – until you’re on a roll and crushed by a dino. Looty Dungeon
Looty Dungeon looks a lot like another Crossy Road, what with its chunky graphics and tap-to-jump controls. But it plays very differently, providing you with an endless string of single-screen dungeons to traverse, with plenty of enemies, spikes and flames between you and the exit.
Naturally, there’s also a timer. Spend too long figuring out how to avoid lumbering zombies or a barrage of deadly arrows and the floor collapses beneath you. Conversely, do well enough and you’re ‘rewarded’ with a battle against a toughened boss. So, yes, no rest for your knight – but what did you expect when his job is stealing other people’s bling? Punch Quest
Punch Quest presumably took a look at other endless runners on iPhone, noted that they mostly involved an awful lot of jumping, and reasoned players really wanted to be punching things instead. So here, the two-thumb control scheme defines which punches you throw, and these propel you along – and duff up enemies who get in your way.
At first, you’ll likely mash the screen like a maniac, but this will only get you so far. It turns out, despite Punch Quest’s ludicrous nature, it has a surprisingly deep combat system, based around combos, timing and special abilities. And at one point, you also get to ride a dinosaur that spews lasers from its mouth. (If you still don’t want to download this game, there’s really no hope.)
Our favorite free iPhone gem-swap, tile-match, and rhythm action games. Slydris 2
Slydris 2 whiffs a bit of Tetris. It has similar shapes that drop into a well, the aim being to form solid lines that vanish. Breach the top of the well and your game ends. Simple. Only Slydris 2 then performs a handbrake turn and gleefully speeds off in an entirely different direction.
For a start, it’s turn-based. Also, several shapes drop into the well each turn, and you can only move one (whether it’s ‘hanging’ or already in the well). This subverts the classic formula, transforming it into a smart, unique game of strategy.
Everything you thought you know goes out the window as you figure out how to shatter pieces, make use of power-ups and survive long enough to get a high score. Top stuff, then, and just as compelling as the game that inspired it. Six Match
Six Match is a match-three game with a twist. Rather than arbitrarily swapping gems, you control a character with the oddly literal moniker Mr Swap-With-Coins, and as the game’s name suggests, he has just six moves after every successful match to make another.
The game wrong-foots you from the start. Any muscle memory you have from the likes of Bejeweled evaporates as you figure out the most efficient way to make the next match. The result is a game heavy on puzzling and light on speed.
Just when you think you’ve got it worked out, Six Match throws new mechanics into the mix: diamonds you clear by dropping them out of the well, deadly skulls and cages that push entire lines of coins. The layered strategy should keep you matching for the long term, as you figure out new ways to crack your high score. Tappy Cat
Tappy Cat is a rhythm action game, with you playing as a musical moggie. Your cat sits before a ‘tree guitar’, and notes head out from the middle of the screen along two rails. These must be tapped, held, or tapped along with another note, depending on their color.
This is routine for a rhythm action game, but it’s the execution that makes Tappy Cat delightful. It feels perfectly tuned for iPhone (your thumbs can always reach the notes), and there’s a cat-collection meta-game, rewarding you with new kitties when you totally nail a tune.
The only bum notes are a lives system (a video ad will give you five lives – although there is also a $2.99/£2.99/AU$4.49 endless lives IAP for those who want it), and the way in which a single major blunder ends your latest attempt at musical superstardom of the furry kind. Finger Smash
Finger Smash is more or less whack-a-mole with fruit – and a big ol’ dose of sudden death. You get a minute to dish out tappy destruction, divided up into seconds-long rounds.
In each case, you’re briefly told what to smash, and set about tapping like a maniac. Hit the wrong object, and your game ends with a flaming skull taunting you. (Lasting the full minute is surprisingly tough.)
This is a simple high-score chaser, and so there’s understandably not a lot of depth here. However, there are plenty of nice touches. The visuals have an old-school charm, and the music is suitably energetic.
But also, there’s the way you can swipe through multiple items, the bomb that ominously appears during the final ten seconds, and varied alternate graphics sets if you feel the need to squish space invaders, fast food, or adorable cartoon robots. Great stuff. Topsoil
Topsoil , like its subject matter of gardening, is something that only really works if you’re willing to put in the investment. And that’s because it’s a puzzler that’s easy to grasp within seconds, but that rewards long-term play, as you slowly master new strategies to lengthen your games.
The board is a four-by-four grid, into which you add plants. Every four moves you can harvest a plant – or group of adjacent plants – which turns the soil. A reckless approach soon leaves you with non-contiguous chunks of land and no chance of removing loads of plants at once.
Even when planning ahead, the game’s inherently random nature can rapidly end a game. But Topsoil’s charm and gradual drip-feeding of new items to plant makes for a leisurely and enduring brain-teaser ideal for filling spare moments. Higher Higher!
Minimal arcade game Higher Higher! is another of those titles that on paper seems ridiculously simple, but in reality could result in your thumb and brain having a nasty falling out.
A little square scoots back and forth across the screen, changing color whenever it hits the edge and reverses direction. Your aim is to tap a matching colored column when the square passes over it.
The snag is that the square then changes color again; furthermore, the columns all change color when the square hits a screen edge.
To add to your troubles, Higher Higher! regularly speeds up, too, thereby transforming into a high-octane dexterity and reactions test. Combos are the key to the highest scores and, as ever, one mistake spells game over. Satellina Zero
Satellina Zero is a somewhat abstract game that borrows from endless runners and rhythm action titles. You play as a white hexagon, sliding left to right to scoop up green hexagons streaming in from the top. You can also tap, which jumps you to the relative horizontal location while simultaneously switching deadly red hexagons to green (and greens to red). It sounds complicated, but it really isn’t.
Survival is reliant on observation and quick thinking, where you must constantly ensure whatever hexagons are coming up are the right color, jump across at the perfect moment, and slide to scoop them all up. Last long enough and you unlock new modes and music.
It would have been interesting to see choreographed levels with percentage scores, rather than games comprising semi-randomized waves that always end on a single missed hexagon; nevertheless, Satellina Zero is a fresh, compelling arcade experience. Blokout
Blokout is a furious, high-speed color-matching game that punishes you for the slightest hesitation. The initial mode plonks you in front of a three-by-three grid, and you have to swap colored squares, Bejewelled-style, to make complete lines, which then vanish.
The timer is the key to the game. A clock sits in the upper-left of the screen and rapidly counts down, giving you only a few moments to complete a line. If the timer runs dry it’s game over; make a line and it resets, giving you another few seconds.
The intensity is therefore always set to maximum, nicely contrasting with the game’s friendly, bold colors (which amusingly turn stark black and white the instant you lose); and if you stick around, you’ll find further challenges by way of boosters and tougher modes. Threes! Freeplay
Threes! Freeplay is a sliding puzzler with the same kind of compulsion loop found in the likes of Tetris. That might sound like a bold claim, but Threes! really is one of those rare games that’s easy to understand but that has enough depth and strategy to potentially keep you playing for years as you master your tactics.
It takes place on a grid, on which you slide cards. Those that match merge to create ever higher numbers, and new items appear on the side of the grid they moved from. Also, all the cards move as one. It’s clever stuff, which becomes apparent the more you play; as does the care and polish within, from the pleasant background ditty to the character and charm infused even into the very cards you move. Triple Town
Triple Town is a think-ahead match game, where you combine trios of things to make other things. Three bushes make a tree, and three trees become a hut. Through careful positioning and a chess-champion’s ability to think ahead, you can chain moves together, thereby freeing up the space required to continue evolving your tiny town.
Then there are the bears. For some reason, the place is full of them. Some roam about the place in a semi-random fashion. Others are leapy ninjas. All of them need to be taken into consideration when laying down new objects. If you fancy a surreal, novel, challenging match game, then, this is definitely a game to bear in mind. Groove Coaster 2
Groove Coaster 2 is a rhythm action game twinned with a roller-coaster. Everything’s on-rails, with you zooming along Rez-like vector pathways, all manner of colorful blocky pyrotechnics spinning and exploding beneath the track. All you need to do is get your timing right, tapping, swiping and rubbing when the icons tell you to.
Only it’s not that simple. The track flips and lurches, and the stages are designed to give your thumb a serious choreographic workout. As ever, perseverance reaps rewards, by way of massive score-enhancing chains, and, frankly, just the smugness that comes from knowing your prodding perfection means you’ve got rhythm.
Our favorite free iPhone platform games, from classic side-on 2D games to ambitious console-style adventures. Candies ’n Curses
Candies ’n Curses is a single-screen platform game, featuring a protagonist who’s taken on the role of solo ghostbuster in a very haunted house. As you swipe, she zips back and forth, and jumps from platform to platform, zapping spooky critters with her weapons. On obliterating the requisite number of scary creatures, she gets to fight a boss, before moving on to the next room.
There are only six in all, but you’ll be hard-pressed to see more than a couple in your initial goes, because Candies ’n Curses has a ‘take no prisoners’ attitude to difficulty. But grind a bit, grab some upgrades, and you’ll find your more equipped heroine can make a bigger dent in the undead’s population. Just remember that “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” isn’t a smart catchphrase here – if in doubt, run! Super Cat Tales 2
Super Cat Tales 2 is a platform game that works brilliantly on your iPhone. That in itself is rare, but also this isn’t a stripped-back one-thumb leapy game. Instead, it’s a full-fledged 2D platforming experience reworked for the touchscreen.
The game features a group of cats, determined to save their world from a robot invasion. They sprint, jump, grab coins, and occasionally hop into tanks to eradicate the metal aggressors.
It’s a visual treat – all vibrant colors and chunky pixels. The controls are fab too – a two-thumb system that’s ideal for touchscreens, flexible enough to allow for a range of actions, and that transforms challenges into feats of choreography. In short, this is one of the very best platform games on mobile, and it would be an insult to the creator to not give it a try. Soosiz
Soosiz is a side-on classic platformer – of a sort. Most such games echo Super Mario Bros, having you sprint from left to right, jumping on enemy heads, grabbing bling, and hot-footing it to an exit. Soosiz takes that basic framework, but has you explore tiny chunks of land floating in space, each of which has its own gravitational pull.
As you run, the screen flips and lurches; your brain flips, too, as you try to figure out which way is up, locate a bunch of tiny critters who’ve got themselves lost, and not accidentally careen into the void due to a misdirected jump.
But once everything clicks, what amounts to a 2D take on Super Mario Galaxy proves to be a smart, engaging mobile platformer, putting a new spin on the genre. Colorblind
Colorblind begins with a twist on a gaming cliche – the hero’s girl is kidnapped, but she happens to be an eyeball. So is the hero, Right Eye, who suddenly finds his world bereft of color.
Naturally, the hero sets out to rescue his love, and defeat the nefarious cloud pirates. But all is not as it seems in this world of monochrome platforms and hazards. Grab an easel and specific items spring vividly to life – coins, monsters, traps and platforms. You must make best use of the color (and waterfalls to wash it off) to work your way through the three unique worlds.
Don’t be fooled by the cutesy visuals and sweet-natured music, though – Colorblind also has an eye for old-school platforming classics. This means you’ll need tight reflexes and precision to succeed. Up a Cave
Up a Cave is a platform game that seemingly plays out in a world of ice. As you leap about, collecting gems and stars, you quickly realize the square protagonist slides all over the place. And that’s a problem, given that the titular caves are strewn with square-killing spikes and other horrors.
This game cleverly mixes precision and speed. One minute, you’re carefully picking your way up a wall; the next, you’re zooming along like a blocky Sonic. The tension is sometimes further ramped up when you’re pursued by a mean-looking eyeball covered in spikes.
The one snag is a fairly obnoxious lives system (wait 30 minutes for five, or watch an ad) that lacks an IAP buy-out. Still, the quality of this freebie is such that you’ll put up with the inconvenience, to get another crack at the latest tricky cave. Slime Pizza
Slime Pizza is a platform game, with running and jumping replaced by catapulting the protagonist around like one of the characters from Angry Birds. The hero here (a delivery drone for Slime Pizza) is a gloopy blob that sticks to ceilings and walls, and his world is one of lethal traps, gigantic spiders, and annoyingly efficient guard dogs.
Your aim is to grab scattered pizzas and make your way ever further into a game continually finding inventive ways to kill you. With its unconventional controls and restart points that only appear every half-dozen or so screens, Slime Pizza can frustrate when you hit a tricky bit and repeatedly have to fight your way back for another go.
On the whole, though, it’s a novel mobile platformer with enough charm and smarts to make you stick around. It’s Full of Sparks
It’s Full of Sparks finds you in a world where firecrackers are cruelly imbued with sentience. Aware of their imminent demise, they make a beeline for water to extinguish their spark and therefore not explode. Your aim is to help them make a splash.
Each of the 80 hand-crafted levels takes a mere handful of seconds to complete – at least when you master the precise choreography required. Before then, there’s plenty of trial and error as you tap colored buttons to turn hazards and chunks of the landscape on and off, and grab rotors that let you soar heavenward.
Despite occasionally slippy controls, this one’s a joy – full of personality and smart level design. It’s likely to put a smile on your face even when your firework goes out with a bang. Duke Dashington Remastered
Duke Dashington Remastered is a fast-paced single-screen platform game featuring dapper explorer Duke Dashington. Suitably, given his moniker, this treasure-hunting gent doesn’t so much walk as dash. Press left or right and he hurtles in that direction until hitting a wall. Prod up and he shoots towards the ceiling.
This turn of speed is handy, given that his adventures take place within four crumbling dungeons. He must escape each room before a ten-second timer runs down, or end up being a kind of buried treasure himself.
Smart level design turns each of the 120 rooms into something akin to a tiny puzzle. And although the entire game can be dashed through in a couple of hours, a time-attack mode gives hardy and dextrous armchair adventurers a reason to return. Cally’s Caves 4
Cally’s Caves 4 continues the adventures of worryingly heavily armed pigtailed protagonist Cally, a young girl who spends most of her life leaping about vast worlds of suspended platforms, shooting all manner of bad guys.
For once, her parents haven’t been kidnapped (the plot behind all three previous games in the series) – this time she’s searching for a medallion to cure a curse. But the gameplay remains an engaging mix of console-like running and shooting, with tons of weapons to find (and level-up by blasting things).
But perhaps the best sections feature Bera, Cally’s ‘ninja bear cub’ pal. His razor-sharp claws make short work of enemies, resulting in a nice change of pace as the furry sidekick tears up the place. Infiniroom
Infiniroom is an endless runner set inside a claustrophobic room. The dinky protagonist leaps from wall to wall, going in circles and avoiding electrified boxes that periodically pop-up.
Every now and again, a chunk of surrounding wall turns orange, before vanishing and opening things up a bit. But sometimes space within the room turns red – a warning that it’s about to become wall again, and that you really shouldn’t be there when it does. Lasers and whirling saw blades add further complications.
Each character in the game has a special power, designed to increase their longevity. But make no mistake: this is intense twitch gaming of the Super Hexagon kind.
Managing to survive for a minute requires almost superhuman reactions. Just be aware all those short games add up – Infiniroom might be brutal and frustrating, but it’s also hugely compelling. Super Phantom Cat 2
Super Phantom Cat 2 is an eye-searingly colorful side-scrolling platform game. Like its predecessor, this game wants you to delve into every nook and cranny, looking for hidden gold, unearthing secrets, and finding out what makes its vibrant miniature worlds tick.
It’s also a game that never seems content to settle – and we mean that in a good way. It revels in unleashing new superpowers, such as a flower you fire at walls to make climbing vines, or at bricks to increase their fragility. It also wants you to experiment, figuring out how critters who are ostensibly your enemies can be coerced into doing your bidding.
The only downside is the presence of freemium elements (ads and an ‘energy’ system) – although both can be removed with inexpensive IAP if you agree this is one cool cat to hang out with. Flat Pack
Flat Pack wraps a two-dimensional platform game around three-dimensional shapes. You control a little flying creature tasked with collecting every side of a cube before finding a level’s exit.
But figuring out where to head isn’t straightforward, because in applying a 2D game world to 3D wall surfaces, you can end up facing a different way when entering a plane from a new direction.
Fortunately, the game has a gentle difficulty curve – death means restarting a level, but not collecting cube parts you’ve already found. And Flat Pack slowly introduces its new ideas, such as enemies defeated by smashing them from below.
Should you find the main game discombobulating, there’s also an augmented reality mode, which has you walk around a puzzle with your iPhone. It’s a weird but effective experience. Drop Wizard Tower
Drop Wizard Tower is a superb mobile take on classic single-screen arcade platform games like Bubble Bobble. Your little wizard has been thrown in jail by the evil Shadow Order, and must ascend a tower over 50 levels to give his enemies a good ‘wanding’ (or something.)
It’s all very cute, with dinky pixelated enemies, varied level design (skiddy ice; disappearing platforms; watery bits in which you move slowly), and fast-paced boss battles against gargantuan foes.
Most importantly, it’s very much designed for mobile. You auto-run left or right, and blast magic when landing on a platform. Said blasts temporarily stun roaming enemies, which can be booted away, becoming a whirling ‘avalanche’ on colliding with cohorts.
The auto-running bit disarms at first – in most similar games, the protagonist stays put unless you keep a direction button held. But once the mechanics click, Drop Wizard Tower cements itself as a little slice of magic on your iPhone. Swordigo
Swordigo is a love letter to the classic side-scrolling platform adventures that blessed 16-bit consoles. You leap about platforms, slice up enemies with your trusty sword, and figure out how to solve simple puzzles, which open up new areas of the game and move the plot onwards.
The plot is, admittedly, nothing special – you’re embarking on the kind of perilous quest to keep evil at bay that typically afflicts videogame heroes. But everything else about Swordigo shines.
The virtual controls are surprisingly solid, the environments are pleasingly varied, and the pace ranges from pleasant quiet moments of solitude to intense boss battles you’ll struggle to survive. All in all, then, a fitting tribute to those much-loved titles of old. Mikey Jumps
The Mikey series has evolved with every entry. Initially a speedrun-oriented stripped-back Mario, it then gained swinging by way of grappling hooks, before ditching traditional controls entirely, strapping jet boots to Mikey in a kind of Flappy Bird with class.
With Mikey Jumps , the series has its biggest shift yet. Scrolling levels are dispensed with, in favor of quick-fire single-screen efforts. Now, Mikey auto-runs, and you tap the screen to time jumps so he doesn’t end up impaled on a spike or plummet to his death.
It sounds reductive, but the result is superb. Devoid of cruft and intensely focused, Mikey Jumps is perfect for mobile play, makes nods to previous entries in the series (with hooks and boots peppered about) and has excellent level design that sits just on the right side of infuriatingly tough.
Our favorite free iPhone logic tests, path-finding challenges, bridge builders, and turn-based puzzlers. Friday the 13th: Killer Puzzle
Friday the 13th: Killer Puzzle is more or less classic sliding puzzler Sokoban infused with South Park-style humor, and dressed in the garb of a famous horror series.
As horror icon Jason Voorhees, you slide around each tiny scene to capture campers, cops, inmates, and more besides. On grabbing them, you’re greeted to a splattering of cartoon gore, while the levitating decapitated undead head of your mother offers sagely advice.
This could so easily have been a gimmicky release, but Friday the 13th: Killer Puzzle gets everything right. The puzzles are smartly designed, forcing you to find labyrinthine paths to targets; there’s a sense of progression as you unlock new worlds; and the dark sense of humor at the heart of the game gives it a real sense of character. Pivotol
Pivotol is an endless puzzle game akin to Tetris and Columns, in that you drop shapes into a well and then eradicate them to create space for more shapes. In this case, you work with neon squares, which explode when six or more connect. Connections are made by pivoting four blocks about a central point, spinning them until you find the optimum position.
Since the game gradually ramps up how many blocks are dropped at any given moment, you must create combos, and cunningly use special blocks that blow up anything nearby.
Fortunately, Pivotol gives you time to think, because it’s turn-based rather than having pieces continually fall. That said, it will still keep you on edge, especially when the well starts to fill, and you can’t see an obvious path to clearing it. A Way to Slay
A Way to Slay is a game of epic sword fights reimagined as time-attack turn-based puzzling. You begin each round surrounded by enemies eager to separate your head from your shoulders. A quick double-tap on any of them and you strike with a killing blow – but then your opponents get their chance to move, and if you’re too near one of them, your innards end up sprayed across the sparse landscape.
Assuming you don’t mind quite a lot of ‘red’ as you go about solving its challenges, A Way to Slay proves itself to be a novel take on turn-based puzzling. And even though your view’s more limited on an iPhone than an iPad, you can use gestures to pan and zoom the screen like you’re directing your very own stabby Hollywood epic. Knight Saves Queen
Knight Saves Queen is a turn-based puzzle game, based on a knight leaping about a chess board. He moves in a standard ‘L’, aiming to bump off every adversary on the board, before rescuing the queen.
Initially, he’s only faced by pawns, but soon other pieces enter the fray, forcing you to carefully plan your path. Over time, allies also appear, allowing you to further manipulate the opposition, which takes pieces every chance it gets.
The bite-sized nature of the game combined with the smart puzzle design make it ideal freebie fare for mobile. We do, however, take exception at needing perfect runs on every level set to unlock the next – unless, of course, you buy coins via IAP.
Still, if nothing else, this forces you to properly tackle every puzzle, rather than blaze through with the least amount of effort. rvlvr.
rvlvr. is an easy game to dismiss. Despite the pleasant piano soundtrack and clear visuals, it doesn’t seem like anything special. You get a bunch of interlocking circles with dots on, and must select and rotate them so the puzzle matches the image at the top of the screen. Easy!
Only rvlvr. is anything but. Once you’ve blazed through the initial levels, everything becomes a mite more complicated. You end up staring at half a dozen or more rings with dots liberally sprinkled about, realizing one wrong move might wreck everything you’ve to that point worked so hard for.
This mix of progression and challenge, alongside rvlvr’s quiet elegance, will keep it rooted to your home screen. And that you can skip any of the 15,000(!) puzzle combinations is a nice touch, ensuring you won’t remain stuck on a single test you can’t get your head around. King Rabbit
King Rabbit has some unorthodox enemies. Having kidnapped his rabbit subjects, said foes have dotted them about grid-based worlds they’ve filled with meticulously designed traps.
Mostly, this one is a think-ahead puzzler, with loads of Sokoban-style box sliding. But instead of being purely turn-based fare, King Rabbit adds tense swipe-based arcade sections, with you running from scary creatures armed with rabbit-filleting weaponry.
Really, this isn’t anything you won’t have seen before, but King Rabbit rules through its execution. Visually, everything’s very smart, from the clear, colorful backgrounds to the wonderfully animated hero (and the little jig he does on rescuing a chum). But the puzzles are the real heroes, offering a perfect balance of immediacy and brain-scratching. Moveless Chess
There’s a bit of cheating going on in Moveless Chess . Although your opponent plays a standard game, you’re some kind of wizard and apparently don’t want the hassle of moving pieces.
Instead, you’ve limited action points, which are used to transform pieces you already have on the board. (So, for example, with three points, you can cunningly change a pawn into a knight.) The aim remains a game-winning checkmate, and, presumably, avoiding the ire of your non-magic opponent.
It’s chess as a puzzler, then, and with a twist that’ll even make veterans of the game stop and think about how to proceed at any given moment.
After all, when you get deep into the game’s challenges, you might find wizarding powers don’t always make for a swift win when you can’t move your pieces. Cubway
Cubway is an abstract logic test that challenges you to reach the goal in dozens of scenes. Your little red square simply has to get past objects that block its path and respond to its presence in different ways.
This would all be a lot easier if you could move freely, but you’re limited to moving forward or backward. Solutions therefore involve precisely when to move – and in what direction. Often, you perform a kind of dance, moving a little way on, stopping for a moment, moving back a bit, an then continuing. It’s a fresh, inventive take on logic tests, and the aesthetics provide a real sense of atmosphere and artistry. Mekorama
Mekorama finds a little robot ambling about mechanical dioramas, trying to reach a goal. It’s a tactile game, where you spin the tiny world with a finger, tap to direct the android, and sometimes urge it on by using a lift, or flinging it across the screen with a pulley system.
It’s a ponderous game but that suits the aesthetic. There’s polish and consideration in every moment that deserves to be breathed in. Also, it’s a very generous game, from how it always provides several levels to tackle, to the built-in construction kit when you’ve finished all the built-in challenges and fancy creating some of your own. If you enjoy your time in Mekorama, do fling the creator some (entirely optional) IAP. red
red is a journey through 50 varied logic tests, all of which have the same goal: to make the screen red. But like its predecessor (the equally impressive and frequently baffling yellow , the twist is the game’s logic frequently being shaken up. What you discover and learn on one level won’t necessarily help you on the next.
And yet it all starts simply enough. The first test features a big red button that colors part of the screen red when you press it. Keep tapping and the screen is soon filled. What comes after is a mix of perplexing, obscure, deviously clever, outright maddening, and relentlessly inventive. You won’t rest until you’ve bested the final test – but might be red-faced by the time you do.
Our favorite free iPhone on-rails, 3D and 2D racers, and trials games. Asphalt 9: Legends
Asphalt 9: Legends is a madcap, streamlined racer. Much like Super Mario Run has the plumber ‘auto-run’, leaving you to time jumps, Legends corners and steers while you focus on timing. You must perform show-off drifts, jumps, and control frequent blasts of nitro.
The notion of a driving game stripped of steering might seem odd, but it works. Races are exhilarating and the courses become puzzle-like as you figure out where and when to perform the correct actions. If letting the game do the work is not your cup of tea, there is also a manual option which puts you back in control.
As with all Asphalt games, you spend an unfeasibly long time hurtling through the air; car pinwheeling in a manner that would make even the most maverick stunt-person’s eyes widen.
For a visually dazzling, entirely over the top slice of mobile-focused arcade racing, Asphalt 9: Legends is hard to beat. Retro Highway
Retro Highway marries the accessibility of modern mobile titles with the high-skill challenge and aesthetics of old-school racers. Visually, it comes across like Hang On and Enduro Racer (or, if you’re not old enough to recognize those titles, those weird games your dad used to play). But in gameplay terms, we’re very much in endless survival territory.
As you zoom along, you collect coins and jump high into the air using ramped trucks, gradually unlocking better bikes and new places where you can ride them. It’s not a very deep experience, but Retro Highway is fun to dip into when you fancy an exhilarating blast of weaving between lorries at breakneck speed, regularly leaping from ramps, and only occasionally splattering your hapless rider against an overpass. Disc Drivin’ 2
Disc Drivin’ 2 is a turn-based racing game. That might make no sense on paper, but it translates well to the screen, effectively mashing up shuffleboard with high-tech levitating tracks full of speed-up mats, gaps, and traps.
You can play alone, tackling a daily challenge or partaking in speed-runs. The latter option is ideal for getting to know the tracks – essential when battling other players online. You then swap moves – bite-sized chunks of gameplay where you inch your disc around the circuit, in races that can last for days.
There are freemium shenanigans going on, mostly for cards that unlock new disc powers, and the fixed camera can be frustrating – although if you’re facing the wrong way, you should probably resolve to learn that track’s layout a bit better. Those minor niggles aside, this is a compelling, entertaining racer that rewards extended play. Sonic Forces: Speed Battle
Sonic Forces: Speed Battle re-imagines Sega’s long-time mascot’s adventures as a 3D lane-based auto-runner. Which is to say that it’s an awful lot like Sonic Dash and Sonic Dash 2, which you may have already played.
The twist here is in the ‘battle’ bit, which pits you against three other human players. As you belt along the track, avoiding traps, you can grab pick-ups – many of which happen to be weapons.
This transforms the slightly throwaway Sonic Dash format into a tense and competitive on-rails racer closer in nature to Mario Kart.
Naturally, there’s still a load of freemium shenanigans stinking the place up a bit, but even for free there’s plenty of blazing fast fun to be had. Data Wing
Data Wing is a neon-infused story-driven racing adventure. It’s also brilliant – a game you can’t believe someone has released for free, and also devoid of ads and IAP.
It starts off as an unconventional top-down racer, with you steering a little triangular ship, scraping its tail against track edges for extra boost. As you chalk up victories, more level types open up, including side-on challenges where you venture underground to find bling, before using boost pads to clamber back up to an exit.
The floaty world feels like outer-space, but Data Wing actually takes place inside a smartphone, with irrational AI Mother calling the shots. To say more would spoil things, but Data Wing’s story is as clever as the racing bits, and it all adds up to the iPhone’s most essential freebie. Built for Speed
Built for Speed is a top-down racer with chunky old-school graphics, and a drag-and-drop track editor. Make a track and it’s added to the pool the game randomly grabs from during its three-race mini-tours; other users are the opposition, with you racing their ‘ghosts’.
Handling’s simple – you steer left or right. Winning is largely about finding the racing line, not smacking into tires some idiot’s left in the road, and not drifting too much.
Initially, though, the game’s so sedate you wonder whether someone mistook an instruction to make it “very 80s” by having it seem like the cars are driven by octogenarians. But a few upgrades later and everything becomes nicely zippy.
The only real snag is the matchmaking doesn’t always work, pitting you against pimped-out cars you’ve no chance against. Still, even if you take a sound beating, another tour’s only ever a few races a way. One Tap Rally
One Tap Rally distils the top-down mobile racer into a one-thumb effort. Press the screen and you accelerate; let go and you slow down. In the nitros mode, you can also swipe upward for an extra burst of speed.
It feels a bit like slot-racing, but the tracks are organic and free-flowing, rather than rigid chunks of plastic. Learning each bend and straight is essential to get around without hitting the sides – important because such collisions rob you of precious seconds.
You’re also not alone – One Tap Rally pits you against the online ghosts of other players. Each time you better your score, you improve your rank on the current track, ready to face tougher opponents. This affords an extra layer of depth to what was already an elegant, playable mobile racer. Crazy Taxi
Crazy Taxi is a port of a popular and superb Dreamcast/arcade title from 1999. You belt around a videogame take on San Francisco, hurling yourself from massive hills, soaring through the air like only a crazy taxi can, and regularly smashing other traffic out of the way.
Given the ‘taxi’ bit in the title, fares are important. Getting them where they want to go in good time replenishes the clock. Excite them and you’re awarded bonuses. Go ‘crashy’ rather than ‘crazy’ and the fare will take their chances and leap out of your cab, leaving you without their cash.
Crazy Taxi looks crude, but still plays brilliantly, and even the touchscreen controls work very nicely. For free, you must be online to play, however – a sole black mark in an otherwise fantastic port (and one you can remove with IAP). Maximum Car
In Maximum Car , you careen along winding roads, smashing your chunky car into other similarly Lego-like vehicles. When possible, you lob missiles about with merry abandon, boost, drift, and generally barrel along like a lunatic. It’s a bit like a stripped-down Burnout or a gleefully violent OutRun.
Your terrorising of other road users (through near misses and blithely driving on the wrong side of the road), rewards you with coins to spend on powering up your ride. Do so and Maximum Car speeds up significantly, veering into absurd and barely controllable territory.
Takedowns (as in, smashing other cars off of the road) are also positively encouraged; destroy the same car over enough races and it’ll be unlocked for purchase.
Along with a tongue-in-cheek commentary track, this is all very silly entertainment – great for quick bursts of adrenaline-fuelled racing, and absolutely not the sort of thing to play before a driving test. Asphalt 8: Airborne
Asphalt 8: Airborne is a nitro-happy racer with four tires firmly planted in arcade racing. That said, tires don’t remain planted for long, because this game has a need for speed, having you bomb along larger-than-life courses peppered with fantastical set pieces (Rocket launches! Active volcanos!), and hurling you into the air at every available opportunity.
There’s a ton of content to unlock, although the game regularly cynically nudges you towards IAP to hurry things along. This in itself feels like someone’s welded massive unwieldy bumpers to what’s otherwise a sleek iPhone sportscar racer. But for the most part, Asphalt 8 is a madcap, exciting blast, insane drifts and mid-air barrel rolls pushing your car way beyond anything the manufacturer ever envisioned.
Our favorite free iPhone FPS games, precision shooters, twin-stick blasters, and vertically scrolling shoot ’em ups. Piffle
Piffle is a shooter that has you blast away encroaching blocks, which are under the control of the nefarious Doc Block, and on landing will presumably do something terrible and evil. To keep them at bay, you lob strings of piffle balls – cat-like critters that bounce around while emitting endearingly cute meowing noises.
As the sort-of cats ricochet around, the numbers on the blocks drop until they’re finally destroyed. Rinse, repeat, and the world is saved. Only, things aren’t quite that simple due to tricky layouts that demand precision aiming, blocks that annoyingly duplicate or deflect your piffles in the wrong direction, and setups that demand you grab and master powerups to aid you in your task.
Fun stuff to dip into when you fancy some colorful, destructive action. Fortnite
Fortnite is a massively multiplayer online ‘battle royale’. You’re dropped into a playfield with 100 other players, each aiming to be the last standing. To achieve that goal, you must explore your surroundings, find a dangerous weapon, and use it to do some serious violence.
This in itself isn’t unique – even on mobile. But Fortnite differentiates itself in key ways. It has a sense of humor – and a sense of style that isn’t dull military fare. Also, rather than just shooting things, Fortnite encouragers you to build, creating strategic defensive barriers.
The relatively complex controls are, naturally, a problem on iPhone, and can frustrate in the heat of a battle. For the most part, though, this is impressive and ambitious multiplayer gaming that makes your iPhone feel like a console. Shadowgun Legends
Shadowgun Legends is a first-person shooter with swagger, which depicts you as a show-off gun for hire, partaking in a probably prescient mix of wiping out evil aliens and reality TV.
After arriving in the game’s hub, you immediately find yourself on missions, which mostly involve following fairly linear pathways, violently shooting everything that moves – and some things that don’t. Control mostly happens by way of two thumbs (movement and gaze), with the odd trip to special power-up buttons.
For anyone deep into the world of console shooters, Shadowgun Legends may feel stripped back and reductive, but you’d have to be a misery to not have fun blasting away, gradually working your way through dozens of missions. Just remember when your worryingly eager fans build a statue of your wonderful self to worship, they’ll ditch you the second their next hero comes along. Anycrate
Anycrate takes the idea of a gunfight and hurls it headlong into absurdist territory. There’s no ‘20 paces’ nonsense here – instead, the two protagonists are on floating stone platforms, leaping about like maniacs and blasting each other with gigantic bullets.
You can share your device to play against a friend (which is admittedly more suitable with an iPad) or play against the AI.
And given that we’re firmly in arcade territory, it should come as no surprise that there are all sorts of power-ups that affect the game in various ways. Medical kits patch up your tiny soldier, but you’re just as likely to blast a crate that unsportingly sends fiery meteors your opponent’s way.
Given that you only get two buttons (Jump and Shoot), there’s a surprising amount going on in Anycrate, not least when you venture into the co-op mode with a friend, and find yourselves battling to protect a pile of bling from tiny ‘magical’ thieves. No, we weren’t expecting that twist either. Pixel Craft – Space Shooter
Pixel Craft takes no prisoners. No sooner have you found your feet in your little auto-firing spaceship than hordes of aliens blow you into so much stardust.
Before long, you clock formations and foes, learn to dodge huge arrows fired by a massive space bow, figure out how to avoid kamikaze ships, and discover how to best an opponent that’s apparently ambled in, lost from arcade classic Caterpillar. Then you face a massive boss and get blown up again.
It’s staccato at first, then – even grindy. But Pixel Craft has a sense of fun and urgency that makes it worth sticking with. The aesthetics and controls are impressive, and death always feels fair – to be blamed on your fingers failing you.
But with perseverance comes collected bling and ship upgrades. Then you’re the one dishing out lessons in lasery death!
(At least until you meet the next boss.) Darkside Lite
Darkside Lite is a visually stunning twin-stick shooter that has you protecting outer-space mining colonies under attack from aliens who’d rather humans weren’t messing up the place.
The tiny snag is the mining bit – the bases you patrol are surrounded by massive ship-smashing rocks slowly ambling about. In classic Asteroids-style, you must make short work of them, while ensuring you don’t get blown to pieces by alien foes.
It’s a dizzying, thrilling ride as you zoom over the planetoids, dodging installations, blasting space rocks, and taking out UFOs coming in for the kill. Should you hanker for more, additional modes (and handy smart bombs) are available in the full Darkside game. Smash Hit
Smash Hit is a 3D on-rails shooter, seemingly aimed at people who really like smashing things. You float in ghostly fashion through its various scenes, hurling your limited cache of metal balls at glass objects minding their own business, or huge panes of glass that rather unwisely block your path.
Initially, you’ll fling balls with merry abandon, but you soon realize getting deep into the game requires a solid aim and sparing use of ammo – not least when the camera starts to spin and the shots become increasingly tough. You’ll need to be a pretty hardcore smasher and a crack shot to reach the end – although you can ease the journey by way of a one-off IAP that unlocks checkpoints. Time Locker
Time Locker is a vertically scrolling shoot ’em up with a twist: when you stop, time stops. This means that although you’re often weaving between bullet hell and blowing up swarms of enemies, you at least get the chance to think for a bit and consider your next move.
That said, Time Locker doesn’t make things too easy: hang around and a relentless world-consuming darkness gobbles up your craft. This means although you can pause for a bit, you must remain on the move, utilizing power-ups to zoom ahead wherever possible.
It’s a unique, engaging shooter, and its distinctive nature is further cemented by its vibrant low-poly world, which at any moment may see you attacked by gigantic tanks, dinosaur herds, or deadly waddling penguins.
Our favorite free iPhone soccer, golf, tennis and basketball games. Rowdy Wrestling
Rowdy Wrestling is a sports game that doesn’t take itself remotely seriously – and that says a lot, given the spectacle it’s simulating. But all the weirdness of pro wrestling has nothing on this game, which features ludicrously bouncy physics and fighters whose arms whirl around in an entertainingly cartoonish manner.
There’s the feeling throughout that you’re only just in control, whether trying to dropkick an opponent in the face, or unceremoniously hurl them out of the ring. But when Rowdy Wrestling clicks, it grabs hold for good. Just as well, then, that you get a range of modes – Tag Team; a solo career; and the ‘last man standing’ Rumble – along with multiple fighters to unlock. Golfing Around
Golfing Around transports you to a simpler age of golf video games. You don’t get lush 3D visuals, enough club choices to give a pro caddie a nervous breakdown, or inch-perfect takes on real-life courses. Instead, you have basic controls, minimal top-down visuals, and a handful of holes dreamed up by the developer.
On iPhone, though, this works really well. The visuals provide clarity, and the straightforward controls afford Golfing Around immediacy. There’s some nuance too – push the power meter into the red and your aim wobbles about, your dream of extra distance at risk from potentially smacking the ball in the wrong direction.
All this ensures Golfing Around makes the cut, but it’s boosted up the leaderboard by a construction kit. Making and sharing your own courses is a cinch. Probably don’t spell out “I prefer soccer actually” using water traps, mind. Kind of Soccer
Kind of Soccer will be catharsis in gaming form for anyone who ever felt their soccer team was wronged by an official. That’s because although this game has a pitch and a ball, points are scored by belting the ball directly at the referee’s head.
The controls are a straightforward slingshot – just drag an arrow indicator and let rip. At first, your only danger is bad aim – kick the ball out of bounds and a point is awarded against your team – but in later rounds, defenders attempt to save the ref from a beating.
Fortunately, you can continue your unsporting rage by using bonuses that pop-up, including laser sights, and one option that entertainingly turns every opposition player into a tree. DROLF
DROLF is mini golf combined with scribbling and a smattering of route-finding. Courses start in bare-bones, incomplete fashion. You see a ball, a hole, and perhaps a few walls. You then draw on the screen to add new barriers, before dragging a line to smack the ball on its way.
This isn’t a game that cares a jot for realism. The ball has endless momentum and merrily bounces around enclosed spaces like a trapped fly before – with luck – finding the hole, or exiting the screen.
But DROLF wants to be played, and so the only limitations are your pot of scribbling ink (for which you get unlimited undos) and your cunning planning powers when battling later stages packed full of magnets, fans and moving walls. As a tactile touchscreen reimagining of a fun pastime, it’s more hole-in-one than out of bounds. Pocket Run Pool
Pocket Run Pool reimagines pool for the solo player. It gives you a table from above, with the twist that each of the pockets has a multiplier on it. Your score comprises the number on the ball multiplied by the number on the pocket, and you lose one of your three lives every time you miss a shot or pocket the white.
Aficionados of videogame pool may grumble at this game’s basic nature. The visuals are 2D and minimal, and there’s some major hand-holding regarding aiming. But any such complaints miss the point.
Pocket Run Pool isn’t about slavish realism, but taking a fresh look at pool, and fashioning a modern, quick solo game around scoring and taking risks, rather than getting soundly beaten again and again by a computer opponent on a 3D table. Golf Up
Golf Up is an endless golfing game. However, as its name might suggest, this isn’t about forever belting a ball across a horizontal landscape – the holes here head towards the heavens.
Everything about Golf Up is pretty basic. The visuals are clean, and the audio sparse. The controls are straightforward, too: drag a finger to set direction and power. A little aiming arc even helps predict where the ball will go.
A simple game, then, but Golf Up quickly proves itself to be a relaxing, meditative arcade experience, with a hint of strategy and risk. There’s no timer and no rush, but you always know you’re only one shot from your ball falling into the abyss, ending your latest attempt at a new high score. Flick Soccer 17
Flick Soccer is all about scoring goals by booting a ball with your finger. It looks very smart, with fairly realistic visuals and nicely arcade-y ball movement. You can unleash pretty amazing shots as you aim for the targets, and occasionally bean a defender.
The game includes several alternate modes, providing a surprising amount of variation on the basic theme. There’s a speed option that involves flicking at furious speed, and the tense sudden-death Specialist, which ends your go after three failed attempts to hit the target.
Rather more esoteric fare also lurks, demanding you repeatedly hit the crossbar, or smash panes of glass a crazy person has installed in the goalmouth.
Like real-world sport on the TV, Flick Soccer is a bit ad-infested. You can, though, remove ads with a one-off $0.99/99p/AU$1.99 IAP, or – ironically – turn them off for ten minutes by watching an ad. Footy Golf
Playing football on your own can be dull – that is, unless you’re the sporty hero of Footy Golf . As ever, scoring is the main aim – and there’s a goal to be found somewhere on each course. But along the way, you can also collect coins someone’s generously left lying around.
The controls are straightforward (aim with a directional arrow and then let rip); much of the challenge comes in trying to maximize your star rating by reaching the goal using the fewest possible kicks. You’ll also have to navigate increasingly complex courses as you move through a city, caverns, a factory, and a scorching desert.
The game’s a bit ad-infested, with a mildly hateful level unlock mechanism that encourages grinding, but played in bite-sized chunks, it’s definitely more ‘match winner’ than ‘own goal’. Frisbee Forever 2
Flinging a plastic disc about isn’t the most thrilling premise for a game, which is why it’s a surprise Frisbee Forever 2 is so good. The game finds a little toy careening along rollercoaster-like pathways, darting inside buildings and tunnels, and soaring high above snow-covered mountains and erupting volcanos.
You simply dart left and right, keeping aloft by collecting stars, and avoiding hazards at all costs – otherwise your Frisbee goes ‘donk’ and falls sadly to the ground. Grab enough bling and you unlock new stages and Frisbees.
This game could have been a grindy disaster, but instead it’s a treat. The visuals are superb – bright and vibrant – and the courses are smartly designed. And even if you fail, Frisbee Forever 2 lobs coins your way, rewarding any effort you put in. PKTBALL
PKTBALL is tennis on fast-forward – a racket game that appears to have absorbed the pace and power from air hockey, squash, and a demented take on classic videogame Pong.
Each match features cute characters facing off, smacking a ball back and forth at insane speed. Bonuses regularly appear on the court, and if you can direct the ball over one, you might end up with some shields – or find the ball unhelpfully turns into a fish.
It’s like Wimbledon as reimagined by Salvador Dali. And PKTBALL’s bonkers nature only increases once you start collecting characters. Courts become strewn with rainbows, searing neon-nightmares, or have games of Tetris running in the background.
Our favorite free iPhone RTS and turn-based strategy games, board games, and card games. Sneak Ops
Sneak Ops is a stealth game that wants you to “get to the chopper”. The snag: between you and your airborne escape route are rooms packed with enemy soldiers, traps, and – occasionally – inconveniently unbreathable air. Also, you’re unarmed. Thanks, budget cutbacks!
You must therefore sneak about, avoid detection and unsportingly wallop enemies over the head whenever you get the chance. Along the way, you grab floppy disks, which for some reason are used to buy restart points. Perhaps evil dudes are all retro gamers at heart.
It’s tense, pacy stuff, with some fab visuals. Even better: there’s a new mission every day – and everyone gets the same one, thereby pitting you against many thousands of other wannabe strategic operators. Look, Your Loot!
Look, Your Loot! takes the basics of free-roaming RPGs and shoves them into a grid-based interface not dissimilar from puzzlers like Threes!
The rodent protagonist – a heavily armed mouse – moves about the grid as you swipe, his energy being depleted during battles or replenished on grabbing elixirs and shields. Whenever you enter a new tile, something new appears from the opposite side of the grid.
The key to survival – and a high-score – is carefully planning your route, ensuring you don’t end up trapped between a number of powerful and angry adversaries. It’s the sort of RPG-lite that’s perfect to quickly fire up during a few minutes of downtime; but multiple level layouts and surprising depth in the mechanics also make Look, Your Loot! a rewarding game to master over the longer term. Cobalt Dungeon
Cobalt Dungeon finds an explorer roaming dungeons, battling monsters, going on quests, and occasionally getting a bit shoppy. The action’s turn-based, and success often depends on engaging your chess brain to think several moves ahead. When you’re surrounded by enemies, you must figure out in which order to dispatch them.
This infusion of puzzling isn’t uncommon in top-down games of this kind, but it plays out really nicely in Cobalt Dungeon. When you’re surrounded by roaming floating eyeballs, you might initially panic. But then you’ll spot a narrow path to coax them down, to off them one by one, or figure out how to exploit their sluggish movement patterns.
With procedurally generated dungeons and in-game upgrade stores, every game is different. But more importantly, Cobalt Dungeon’s clever design means that every game is fun. Flipflop Solitaire
Flipflop Solitaire reasons that a card game you play on an iPhone should be designed for its screen and mobile play rather than a table. To that end, it takes spider solitaire as a basic framework, then messes around with the formula.
You’re still working with stacks of cards, aiming to sort them back into suits. However, in this game you have only five columns to work with and the height of your iPhone’s display provides a vertical limit.
Flipflop Solitaire shakes things up more by letting you stack cards in increasing or decreasing value. This single change proves transformative, turning every deal into a solvable puzzle, and games with a single suit into frantic, entertaining speed-runs. The Battle of Polytopia
The Battle of Polytopia is more or less a classic version of Civilization played in fast-forward. You start off with a single city, surrounded by the unknown. You then explore, research technologies, and give anyone who gets in your way a serious kicking.
Unlike the sprawling Civilization games, Polytopia is focused and sleek. The technology tree stops before guns arrive, the standard game mode limits you to 30 moves, and new cities cannot be founded – only conquered.
For the more bloodthirsty, there’s a domination mode, where you aim to be the last tribe standing. The maximum map size expands and online asynchronous multiplayer opens up if you pay for more tribes. However you play, this is a furiously addictive, brilliantly realized slice of mobile strategy. Full of Stars
There’s ambition at the heart of Full of Stars , which so easily could have been yet another run-of-the-mill tap-based survival game.
Much of your time is spent in space, tapping screen edges to deftly weave your ship through space debris. When possible, you scoop up stardust to charge up your weapons system and a hyperdrive that blasts you towards your destination at serious speed.
But Full of Stars is also a role-playing game of sorts, finding you immersed in a plot that puts humanity on the brink. Along with your deft arcade skills, you’ll need to manage resources and make vital decisions to ensure your survival.
It can get repetitive, and the arcade sections are sometimes harsh, but Full of Stars is a commendable effort at trying something different – a story-driven journey that demands both arcade and strategic smarts. Really Bad Chess
Apparently turned off by chess’s commitment to beauty, elegance and balance, the developer of Really Bad Chess set out to break it. You therefore start your first game with a seriously souped-up set of pieces: several queens, and loads of knights. Your hapless computer opponent can only look on while lumbered with a suspicious number of pawns.
One easy win later and you’re full of confidence, but Really Bad Chess keeps switching things up. Rather than the AI getting better or worse, the game changes the balance of your set-up. As you improve, your pieces get worse and the computer’s get better, until you’re the one fending off an overpowered opponent.
It’s a small twist on the chess formula, to be sure, but one that opens up many new ways of playing, whether you’re a grandmaster or a relative novice. Spaceteam
Spaceteam is the best multi-device party game for iPhone. The backstory is that you’re attempting to outrun an exploding star, in a ship that’s seen better days. Unhelpfully, the control panel for your craft was seemingly designed by an engineer who considers user-friendliness an offensive abomination.
The system provides instructions, but they’re usually not related to controls on your display. Games therefore turn into people desperately screaming “will someone turn on the dangling shunter?”, while combing every inch of their own screen for an elusive ‘eigenthrottle’ switch.
With Spaceteam offering cross-device play, up to eight players can immerse themselves in this madness, as long as they’re on the same Wi-Fi network. Hearthstone
Hearthstone is a one-on-one card battler set in a magical world of mystics and warriors. You and an opponent take it in turns to attack, using cards that unleash spells, minions, and other acquired skills.
Given how complicated card games of this sort can be, Hearthstone proves intuitive and welcoming to the newcomer – and it’s also extremely well balanced. It’s possible, if you take the time and effort to master the game, to top the leaderboards without splashing out IAP on new cards – although such temptation might get the better of you anyway once you’re immersed in this engaging world of strategy, chance, and fantasy. Sage Solitaire
If you’re of a certain vintage, you probably spent many hours playing Solitaire on a PC, success being rewarded by cards bouncing around the screen. Sage Solitaire ‘s developer wondered why iOS solitaire games hadn’t moved on in the intervening years, and decided to reinvent the genre. Here, then, you get a three-by-three grid and remove cards by using poker hands.
Additional strategy comes through limitations (hands must include cards from two rows; card piles are uneven) and potential aid (two ‘trashes’, one replenished after each successful hand; a starred multiplier suit). A few rounds in, you realise this game’s deeper than it first appears. Beyond that, you’ll be hooked. The single £2.29/$2.99 IAP adds extra modes and kills the ads.
Our favorite free iPhone games all about crosswords, anagrams, and playing with letters. Alphabear 2
Alphabear 2 introduces you to a world where bears have made a major blunder with a time machine, and need you to fix things by… spelling words. Even the in-game protagonists don’t seem convinced by that setup, but it’s a fun hook on which to hang the sequel to one of the iPhone’s best word games.
As in the original Alphabear, you make words from Scrabble tiles on a grid. When tiles are used, bears expand into the gaps. Tiles also have countdown timers, and turn to stone if you don’t use them in time, thwarting your ability to make full-screen bears.
There’s a lot going on, including several modes, oddball ‘bear speech’ victory screens, a smattering of (horrors!) education, and a mildly baffling bear collection meta-game. In all, though, it’s furry much worth a download. Wordgraphy
Wordgraphy looks like a stripped-back crossword puzzle with letters crammed into a grid, but the letters are muddled up and you can’t just drag them wherever you fancy. Tap any letter and you’ll be presented with a small set of possible destinations.
The aim is to ensure you create complete words. It’s often easy enough to make one or two, but then you’ll be left with the likes of CCRZK along one axis, and a realization that perhaps your other words aren’t the right ones.
A smart, interesting piece of logic word puzzling, then, and a game that’s suitably different from its contemporaries when you’re getting bored with more conventional fare. Letterpress
Letterpress is a mix of Boggle and Risk. Two players (you and an online or computer opponent) face a five-by-five grid of letters and take turns tapping out words. But the key isn’t to show off your vocabulary; instead, you must strategize to secure territory.
Captured letters turn your color, but those surrounded by your tiles become a darker shade and cannot be flipped by your opponent during their turn. With careful play, you gradually chip away at the board; to win, you must secure every tile.
It’s a simple premise, but one that makes for surprisingly exciting battles. Games can turn on a smart play you didn’t see coming; many become like a tug of war, with you and an opponent trading blows. The claustrophobic board further adds to the intensity, and makes a nice change from countless Scrabble clones. Scrabble
Scrabble [ non-US App Store link ] is a digital take on the famous boardgame. You play the computer or human opponents (over Wi-Fi or the internet), carefully placing letters on the grid, trying to position them over bonus spots for double and triple points.
Crossword games of this ilk are now commonplace, but Scrabble’s board layout remains the best. It also gives you the option for ponderous play or a kind of time-attack take, forcing everyone to quickly make moves.
On the iPhone, things are perhaps a touch cramped compared to on larger devices, and you’ll quite often get ads thrown in your face. Even so, Scrabble remains a solid download, not least if you’re a fan of the original. The Impossible Letter Game
The Impossible Letter Game isn’t actually impossible, but it does get decidedly tricky once you’re deep into the game. Each challenge presents you with a grid of letters, the idea being to find the odd one out. This might be a W in a grid of M’s, or a 2 sneakily nestled within rows and columns of Z’s.
Initially, the letters are fairly large, but they soon shrink, and even start animating, to try and throw you off the scent of your prize. The smallish screen of an iPhone adds an extra layer of difficulty to the mix. Good for your powers of observation; not so much for resting your eyes! Bonza Word Puzzle
Bonza Word Puzzle deconstructs classic crosswords – and then has you put them back together again. You’re given a clue, hinting at the words you need to make, and then a bunch of fragments that resemble tetrominos.
The game ends up coming across like a mix of Scrabble and jigsaws as you slowly piece together the puzzle. And just like with jigsaws, everything gets a mite tougher when you’re grasping with a larger number of pieces.
Packs in the game are split between free, IAP, and those you can buy with coins earned in-game. There’s also a daily freebie, and the option to create your own puzzles – a nice touch for people who get seriously into the game. Four Letters
Four Letters is a word game based around speed. You get four letters, a rapidly depleting timer, and a handy note that says how many words can be made from the letters in front of you. Tap out a word and your game gets to continue for a bit longer.
Once you’re a few dozen words in, Four Letters becomes a fast, frantic, panic-inducing flurry of quick thinking and super-fast tapping. In some ways, it’s perhaps a pity there’s no timer-free mode for training purposes (and the faint hearted), but Four Letters is a great bet if you fancy a simple, entertaining word game that doesn’t let you dawdle. Read more at

Best of 1979

Heavy Blog is Heavy is ten years old. When Jimmy Rowe first started this blog, I doubt he imagined that it would become what it is today; I doubt anybody around back then imagined it. It was special for music journalism; right at the cusp of the mass migration of the industry – media journalism, in general, that is – on to the Internet. “Blog” was uttered with the same confused reverence as “blockchain” is used today; it was cutting edge, it was the next big thing. During the decade that has passed, the term has waxed and waned in popularity, come to mean new things, to address new crowds, and to embrace new styles. To be honest, it’s now extremely out of fashion; even the biggest music blogs out there are getting put behind paywalls as the next form of the Internet (hopefully not its final form) coalesces over the horizon.
But that’s the beauty of blogs; they don’t necessarily need to be in fashion. Sure, running a blog of even this size (we’re in the medium tier as far as website sizes go, if you’ve ever wondered) is a lot of work. But it’s inherently sustainable; we’re run off of volunteer passion and, as long as that doesn’t run dry, we can keep the lights on with a minimal (though not non-existent) overhead. We might even do some bigger stuff, like shirts, a showcase show ( hhhmmmm ….), sponsorship, and stuff like that. But, essentially, it’s all about the music, and the day that music itself goes out of fashion is the day humanity dies. Even as things accelerate and the rate at which the world is changing seems to go ever faster (insert Sonic joke here), music (and art in general) seem to become more and more essential to sanity, at least for me.
One only needs to look at the list below, hailing all the way from 1979, to get what I’m saying here. This music was released in a world that was unbelievably different than ours: the Soviet Block had not yet fallen; computers were around but they took up rooms and their minification and proliferation was still science-fiction; the Internet was a bunch of ideas floating around, waiting for a connection; the Vietnam War was still fresh; Iraq was un-invaded; phones were hooked up to walls. The world was inherently different and yet, things were also the same. Music from that era still speaks to us, still speaks to our daily struggles, frustrations, and emotions. I do not believe in eternity or an essential human essence. But I do believe in the ability of art to articulate ideas, ways of thought, challenges, and facts of life that go beyond the momentary, beyond the contextual, and into the realm of the long-lasting, of the almost-infinitely complex and subtle.
Every quarter of this year (wow, just like a real business!) we’ll be doing a “Best Of” list focusing on a different “Year 9.” We’ll start here, at 1979, and move a decade forward each time (that means the next one is 1989, get it?), highlighting those releases we think were best in each year. We’ll end up syncing with our present time in the far, far future that is the end of 2019 and our Album of the Year list, drawing the line from the past to the present and, hopefully, into the future. See you there. Let’s get going. The Clash – London Calling
1979 was a year of greats, huh? If you scroll down this list, you’ll find absolute classic albums. However, let me posit this to you: in capturing the zeitgeist of the period within its geographical area, no album on this list even comes close to London Calling except for, perhaps, Unknown Pleasures . The Clash were way more than just a band; they were proginators, radicals, iconoclasts. They inspired an entire movement, as London Calling released on the eve of Thatcherism (the effects of which we’re still reeling from, all over the world), on the eve of the beginning of the end for the Soviet Union, on the decline of the Great Promise of the 60’s, on the brink of it all. They were the voice of an entire generation of disaffected, disillusioned, and pissed off youth, in the heart of the failing vision of Europe post-war, London.
They also made a damn fine album. It’s kind of surprising just how well London Calling stands up to the test of time, shrugging off the intimations of a million successors to channel it’s own special brand of pissed proto-punk. However, there are a few tracks on it which stand even taller, beyond the obvious choice of the self-titled opener, that deserve special attention. Chief among them, for this writer at least, is “Clampdown”, a track which was brought to my attention shortly after high-school by one of my best friends, originally. It’s a track which captures the energetic music of The Clash and their original appeal, with their straightforward political message, their ability to write lyrics and music which cut to the bone and, most of all, their irresistible groove, emanating from the drums and the bass and reaching all the way into the signature vocals.
Other highlights include the (literally) incendiary “Spanish Bombs”, the rousing “Guns of Brixton” and the anthemic “Revolution Rock”. We could spend our time on each of these, taking them apart and understanding their appeal but to be honest, that’s unnecessary. I think that what keeps The Clash fresh in general, and London Calling especially, is how direct and unmitigated their music is. You can sit down, spin the record up, and immediately be drawn into the dreary, furious, disenchanted, and uncompromising soundscape that they created for themselves. Perhaps it also has something to do with the fact that we are still, in many ways, living “in the moment” of London Calling , as economic/ecological crisis deepens around us and our politicians seem unwilling to do much of anything. -Eden Kupermintz AC/DC – Highway to Hell
Although most people would defer to the Bon Scott years as the classic AC/DC era, album-wise, the band will always be remembered for Back In Black (1980). And rightfully so. To come back only a year later following the death of such an iconic frontman with an album that not only constitutes a career high but might just be the greats album in all of hard rock history is no small feat. Yet, all of this is just icing on the proverbial cake, for what is perhaps most remarkable about Back In Black , and arguably the band’s true triumph as well, is that they managed to top an album as good as Highway to Hell .
The Bon Scott years are littered with classic hits, and with albums like T.N.T. (1975) and Let There Be Rock (1977), they far outshine the Brian Johnson years in terms of albums as well. However, not even those classic records rival the heights nor the consistency of Highway to Hell . There is, of course, its iconic opening track, which has been irreparably woven into to fabric of both rock n’ roll and popular culture. Yet, it’s when you realise that tracks like “Shot Down in Flames” and “If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)”—which derives its name from another “all-time great”, in the form of the band’s classic 1978 live album —weren’t even released as singles that you realise just how outstanding a record Highway to Hell truly is.
In fact, the album’s two other singles, “Girls Got Rhythm” and “Touch Too Much”, are two of its lesser offerings. Of its ten tracks, “Get it Hot” is the only one that I can’t immediately recall, while songs like the sleaze-ridden “Walk All Over You” or the frantic “Beating Around the Bush” rival similar songs such as “What Do You do For Money Honey” or “Have a Drink on Me” from Back in Black . There’s as much quality shown on this one record as there is on their previous five album’s combined, and even the weakest of those (probably 1976’s Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap ) are often credited as genre classics. AC/DC really hit their stride with Highway to Hell , and the fact that the best was yet to come only makes it all the more impressive.
Although their output has hardly ever approached the same heights since, in the space of two years, AC/DC not only put out history’s best hard rock album but, arguably, its second best as well. Out of the following (almost) four-decades’ worth of output, only 1990’s The Razor’s Edge comes close to recapturing the quality of the band’s early years. Nevertheless, Highway to Hell and its successor cap off a run of albums which few—if any—rock n’ roll bands have equalled since, and whose heights represent the absolute peak of what the genre has to offer. – Joshua Bulleid
During their brief but monumental career, Joy Division were a band of two eras that never truly belonged in either. This became clearer after vocalist Ian Curtis’s death, when the remaining members released the brighter, synth-heavy single “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and went on to form eminent synthpop group New Order . Even the band’s swan song Closer (1981) had several forward-looking moments rooted in budding ’80s trends. Yet, what truly makes Joy Division such a singular voice in rock history is best observed on Unknown Pleasures . Both literally and figuratively, Joy Division were on the cusp of a new decade, and the way they incorporated that fact into their music made for arguably the greatest post-punk album of all time.
Of course, post-punk was alive and well by the time Joy Division came around. Wire had already released their two most enduring albums Pink Flag (1977)and Chairs Missing (1978), while Talking Heads were already churning out classics. Not to mention bands like The Fall , Television and the budding No Wave scene. But there’s a reason Unknown Pleasures frequently bests all these acts on all-time “Best Of” lists when it comes to post-punk, the 70s and music in general. Unknown Pleasures is essentially the perfect blueprint for what modern post-punk evolved into during the 80s and beyond, and its influence stretches into virtually every related subgenre that revolves around reverb, mood and atmosphere. Even in the metal community, moodier and more atmospheric acts often tip their cap towards the groundwork laid by Joy Division decades ago.
Minimal, cold and swallowed in atmosphere , Joy Division’s music is perhaps the most succinct encapsulation of depression. On Unknown Pleasures in particular, the band rooted that feeling in the trajectory of art punk and post-punk in the mid to late ’70s. Musically, the band latched onto the logical extension of punk’s simplicity: using repetition and minimalism to conjure a mood with hypnotic, alluring compositions. Joy Division’s rhythm section made this effect possible, what with Peter Hook’s melancholic, mesmerizing bass lines and the tight percussion of Stephen Morris. Threading the band’s formula were m oody punk riffs and leads from guitarist Bernard Sumner, covered in a gratuitous but not gluttonous amount of reverb. And then, of course, the vocals of Ian Curtis truly make Joy Division who they are; a deadpan delivery always on the cusp of an emotional outburst.
Altogether, what may sound like a plain iteration of ’70s post-punk became something a great deal more valuable to the genre’s survival. The reverb and effect-laden movements of the ’80s found roots all across Unknown Pleasures , and in particular, future post-punk staples took copious notes of how all the band’s elements came together. You have brighter outliers like “Disorder,” one of the most melodic tracks in the band’s discovery that’s retained its infectious nature still to this day. Following suite are some of the band’s core, pensive material, like the veiled, dismal atmosphere of “Candidate” and the deadpan, danceable bounce of ‘She’s Lost Control.” Then there’s the nod to the band’s punk roots on “Interzone,” maybe the feistiest the band have ever sounded outside of their earliest, Warsaw -era material.
Each of the album’s 10 tracks are post-punk highlights, and the record as a whole is perfectly paced, written and structured. Having listened to Unknown Pleasures before exploring the wider worlds of post-punk, shoegaze, dream pop and the like, it was genuinely illuminating to discover just how far-reaching Joy Division’s influence has been over the last 40 years. Unknown Pleasures has remained my favorite album for some time now, and revisiting it for this column only further cemented that title. There’s an almost indescribable feeling that the album causes, even after spinning it as many times as I have. The lore of Unknown Pleasures is well-founded, and it deserves at least a cursory listen from anyone interested in what one of modern music’s landmark releases has to offer. – Scott Murphy Motorhead – Overkill
Double-bass, that distinctive razor wire bass guitar tone, staccato guitars, and an unmistakable growl. Truth be told, you probably only need to hear those drums in the opening seconds of Motorhead ’s “Overkill” to instantly recognize it. For the uninitiated, this album and that track were arguably the defining moments for the band until “Ace of Spades” came roaring to life in 1980.
In 1979, Lemmy Kilmister, Philthy Animal Taylor, and Fast Eddie Clarke blasted out of the gates with this album that also contained the swashbuckling swagger of not only the lead track, but classics such as “Stay Clean”, “Damage Case”, “No Class”, and “Tear Ya Down”. Boasting such early canonical works, it’s clear to see why this is a landmark heavy metal album. But when you also take into account the historical context of the record, you get a portrait of rock getting a much needed raw jolt of energy and bravado in an era where ostentatiousness bogged down some of their contemporaries and saw a distancing from the archetypes of the outgoing era’s rock music. -Bill Fetty Pink Floyd – The Wall
It would be very difficult indeed to have a discussion of the evolution of metal without talking about Pink Floyd . The influence of Pink Floyd opened the floodgates for a lot of ideas in rock and metal over the years. It made progressive ideas far more accessible to the average music consumer and helped us all embrace darker ideas in our tunes.
The Wall is the epitome of all things Pink Floyd. The idea of the theme album or rock opera wasn’t brand new at the time but it certainly wasn’t as deeply explored as it is these days. Roger Waters and the gang definitely dug deep into themselves emotionally by relating very personal stories about themselves and their haunted former singer, guitarist, and friend Syd Barrett. Ideas about childhood trauma, drug addiction, and the darker side of fame have now become fodder for all manner of media, but we were really just beginning to explore it in widely available pop culture media. In many ways, The Wall represents much of what we consider dark about the 1970s.
The Wall also showed off the band’s songwriting talents. Telling a story using music can be a very tricky thing by the most experienced musicians. If you don’t consider all parts of the song to build the story, it’s going to fall apart under the weight of its own ambition. Considering the year it took to record the album along with the number of venue changes and sheer number of musicians involved, the band was well aware of the undertaking it was committing to. Each song tells a very specific story within the overarching narrative with music reflective of the tale.
It also stamped Pink Floyd’s legacy in music history. The Wall produced 3 massive hits for the band in “Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2,” “Comfortably Numb,” and “Run Like Hell”. Every beleaguered student has shouted, “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE” at some point in their school days. And every guitar student has taken their turn at the solo in “Comfortably Numb,” a great lesson any student should take in learning how to emote with your instrument. The album has become a gateway for music nerds into deeper classic rock territory and a monumental achievement in music. We’ve been talking about this record for a very long time, and it will be an even longer time before it is lost to time. -Pete Williams Gary Numan – The Pleasure Principle
For my 1979 throwback, I’ve decided to revisit Gary Numan ‘s The Pleasure Principle , or as many people may know it, that album with the song “Cars” on it. That synth-coated “here in my car” line and the ultra-catchy lead synth on the chorus are some of the most recognizable musical moments of the decade. But I wanted to see if this album was really just a one-hit wonder, as it is often viewed as, or if there is more to this album than just sitting in cars.
His inspiration for his debut solo album grew from wanting to write punk or rock music but using synthesizers in place of the guitar. To achieve his signature flanging, distorted synth tone, he fed his minimoog and polymoog synthesizers through his guitar effects pedals. While we see this a lot in modern rock, pop and synthwave , it was a novel concept for its time and part of the reason he is viewed as being a pioneer of modern electronic music. The album was not decade defining as the likes of Kraftwerk , but it helped sculpt the decade to come as it was surely influential to the blossoming ’80s synth pop and new wave scene with groups such as Eurythmics and Depeche Mode breaking into the mainstream.
The Pleasure Principle achieved immediate commercial success, charting to number 1 in the UK, and “Cars” topping the charts in the UK, Canada and reaching ninth in the US. Another single, “Complex” also actually reached number 6 on the UK charts making the album not technically a one-hit wonder … though obviously not to the worldwide acclaim that keeps “Cars” still on the radio, so the stigma remains.
The influential nature of this album is heightened by the fact that several songs have been notably sampled or covered. Most famously, the lead synth riff from “M.E” is instantly recognizable from the annoyingly catchy 2000s dance-rock tune featuring in video games, tv and cinema “Where’s Your Head At?” by Basement Jaxx , and “Metal” which would go on to be covered by Nine Inch Nails among others.
In broad strokes, this album is a collection of songs that songs that sound like “Cars” that are all strong on their own, but lack that nostalgic ear-worm inducing flavour , so it’s unfortunately easy to say they’re just not as good. This is an unfortunate reality because there are several stand-out and memorable moments across the album, and if you’re looking for more early synthpop/new wave, The Pleasure Principle is worth a listen from front to back. – Trent Bos The Specials – The Specials
By almost any measure, Britain was a bleak place in the late seventies. Mass unemployment, strikes, power cuts, police brutality, teenage pregnancy, gang violence, terrorism and the racial tensions which followed, among other things, the increase in immigration from the former British colonies in the Caribbean. Nevertheless, there were still a few rays of sunshine poking through here and there. For one thing, the Jamaicans brought with them the many variants on the reggae sound, and the energy of ska struck a chord with the socially conscious corners of the punk community, spawning a whole generation of British ska bands.
The Specials were unquestionably at the vanguard of this movement, with the band’s founding member Jerry Dammers also running the iconic 2 Tone record label. Right from the get-go, The Specials were a band with a mission. At the time, the simple fact that the band featured both black and white musicians was a political statement; multiculturalism was the message, and The Specials’ eponymous album is a near perfect snapshot of this nascent soundclash between the rhythms and languid basslines of reggae and the brashness, energy and attitude of punk. Elvis Costello ‘s production of the album, gave it a very raw, live-in-the-studio feel, in turn giving us a little glimpse of just how much of a riot The Specials gigs must have been at the time.
Lyrically, The Specials tells small-scale tales of innercity life rather than attempting to tackle any grand themes –“Do The Dog”, “Concrete Jungle” and “(Dawning of A) New Era” talk of the running violence between the various different tribes and affiliations of the time, whilst “Nite Klub”, “Stupid Marriage” and “Too Much Too Young” are about various love-related woes and frustrations.
But, crucially, The Specials’ antidote to the anger and hopelessness of seventies Britain was simple: dancing. The Specials is an album of songs built for the dancefloor – interspersed with the original songs are a clutch of covers of Jamaican ska pioneers like Toots & The Maytals and The Skatalites , including their calling card “A Message To You Rudy”, all reworked into the band’s infectious signature sound. The net result is a real party album, stuffed with thick, heavy bass grooves and infused with the wry humour of people laughing in the face of adversity.
Internal conflict would soon engulf the band, which ultimately meant they would never quite scale the heights of their debut again (perhaps with exceptions given to “Ghost Town” and “Free Nelson Mandela”), which is a tragedy. But, nevertheless, The Specials is both a great record and an important one. It may be a little rough around the edges, especially for ears used to modern production, but it captures the spirit of a particular time and place as effectively as any documentary. – Simon Clark

One Response

  1. Thomas September 16, 2019

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