The Londoner: Pullman rages at Brexiteer 'folly'
Author Philip Pullman told The Londoner that he thinks the people who brought about Brexit “ought to be jailed” for advocating “one of the stupidest things any country has ever done”.
The author of His Dark Materials, an adaptation of which is currently being shown on BBC1, fumed: “There’s no law against being a damn fool unfortunately and there probably couldn’t be.” But he still would like Brexit’s proponents jailed “at least” for an “act of folly, stupidity, cretinous, xenophobic, foreign hating”.
Speaking to us in a wide-ranging conversation last night’s JM Barrie Awards, Pullman couldn’t contain his anger, telling us Brexit was a “monstrosity” because it threw up barriers across Europe. “It should never have happened,” he said.
Broaching happier subjects, we asked what his secret is for writing a great book. “Tell a good story, I suppose,” he shrugged. “I could put it into a sentence or two.
“I wouldn’t because I don’t want other people coming along and copying what I do!
“We all listen to stories. We all want stories. I think it was GK Chesterton who said ‘literature is a luxury, fiction is a necessity’.”
Pullman, the recipient of the JM Barrie Award “in recognition for his lifetime’s achievement in delighting children”, also offered budding writers this advice from the stage: “Don’t listen to advice. Take no notice of what anybody thinks they want to read. Write your book… with all your heart and all your mind… and then they won’t be able to resist it.”
The author also told us about how, as well as “sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll”, there were new diversions from literature for young people in the form of technology.
“The amount of distraction… that is now available to children through the medium of their mobile phone, which is entirely unsupervised and unmediated by adults or parents, is a gigantic factor in young life now,” he said.
“I don’t know what to do about that.”
Er, get with the programme
Laura Trott, a former adviser to David Cameron, finds out on Sunday if she will be the Tory candidate in Sevenoaks. But she might face an awkward chat with her new boss if she wins. In June, Trott predicted on Newsnight that if Boris Johnson called a general election “we’ll end up with Corbyn”. Trott, who is on the shortlist with staunch Brexiteer and ex-Peterborough MP Stewart Jackson, also said she thought the PM’s renegotiation of an EU deal would not work because “Europe does not like Boris Johnson”. Will she be bold enough to say it to his face?
Jeremy Corbyn’s son Tommy has transformed his National Hemp Service store on Stroud Green Road, Finsbury Park, to encourage people to vote. The shop, which sells products exclusively made from hemp, now has a “Register to Vote” slogan spraypainted on its front. Young Tommy’s clearly no apathetic hippy.
War photographer Paul Conroy has shared his travel tips for the city of Homs, where he worked with the late journalist Marie Colvin. “Homs was considered to be the Liverpool of Syria,” he said at a 5×15 event at Notting Hill’s Tabernacle last night. “So I learnt, as a joke, to say, ‘Excuse me, can I breastfeed in here?’ If they laughed I was in good hands. I always was.”
No shaking or stirring in real espionage
Amaryllis Fox, Oxford theology student-turned spy, says the job is not all like James Bond’s. Fox, who left the CIA in 2010, told a Westminster audience last night: “What you’re doing is looking completely normal, and not doing kind of roof-chase sequences. Jump on a train, lose your surveillance, and you know, stash a Glock here, toss an M40 to your partner down the road… those things get you deported or detained very quickly.” Party pooper!
Monday’s scare in Portcullis House, when some white powder was delivered to Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson’s office, sparked a security response. Happily, it was just a scare. However, The Londoner understands that only one MP on Swinson’s floor was actually evacuated — Theresa May (below). Talk about first among equals.
The former PM cut a footloose figure at the Women of the Future Awards last night. Entering to loud applause, she deadpanned: “I can tell by the reaction so far that you’re going to have a very quiet and sober evening. There’s no excitement, no interest in the awards: you’re just here for your dinner.”
Confusing messages as parties try to unseat Labour’s Emma Dent Coad in Kensington. The Tories, who lost by 20 votes last time, go with “only the Conservatives can beat Labour in Kensington” while the Lib Dems try “only Sam Gyimah can beat Labour”.
Woods are all ears on Carnaby Street (Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Ronnie Wood and his wife Sally Humphreys brought their twin daughters Gracie and Alice out in matching ear defenders to switch on Carnaby Street’s Christmas lights last night. The underwater-themed sustainable display was created by Project 0, an ocean-conservation charity.
Meanwhile, The Londoner dropped in on the launch of EL&N Beauty cafe at L’Occitane on Regent Street, where guests were treated to cocktails and hand massages. DJ Nick Grimshaw spun a set of “Manicure Anthems” as guests including model Amber le Bon queued for the treatments.
Elsewhere, actors including The Capture star Callum Turner were honoured at the Bafta and Netflix Breakthrough Brits event at Banqueting House.
Attending was Olympic gold-medal-winning boxer Nicola Adams, who announced her retirement on Wednesday.
Quote of the day: ‘The Queen looks like she could be at a bus stop in Carlisle’ The Crown writer Peter Morgan risks being sent to the Tower by describing the Queen as “an ordinary woman”
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Edit Chicha measures her children
Chicha first appeared in the film after Pacha goes home from the palace in which he was called by the emperor Kuzco . While Pacha climbing the hill he lives, at Chicha, her son Tipo and her daughter Chaca are home, at the top. In this time, Chicha is in the last months of pregnancy. Tipo begs her to measure how much he has grown in the last five minutes, and Chicha this time measures his hair (which is elevated) so he looks higher. Then Pacha appears. Chicha shows signs of pregnancy by having episodes of mood-swings while children embrace their dad. Tipo tells him that he ate a bug today and Pacha makes a joke and asks if Chicha was baking again, but then tells him to not tell her he said that, but she heard that and accepts the joke without hard feelings and laughs. She then jokes herself, saying: “OK, everybody, move aside. Lady with the baby coming through” and kisses her husband. She then reminds her children that their deal was they two can stay awake until their dad came home, but they please Pacha to stay out of beds a bit more. He says that they can stay and watch as he and Chicha will sitting and telling each other how much they love each other, and Chicha prepares to kiss him again, so kids run to their beds, disgusted, just as Chicha and Pacha planed. Chicha comes to calm Tip down
Chicha then asks Pacha what the emperor wanted. Pacha didn’t want to tell his wife that the emperor told him that their house will be destroyed so he can build his new swimming pool on its place, so Pacha covered up his predicament and just said that he couldn’t see him. However, this just makes Chicha angry because she thinks the emperor has to have respect for the people who come to see him. She says that if she were Pacha she would demand to see the emperor and accidentally gets too much wrought upon, which is bad because she is pregnant. Pacha reminds her of the baby, but she says that the baby is not coming out for a while, but even if it was, she’d give Kuzco a piece of her mind, and even snorts in anger. To calm herself down, she goes to wash some dishes. Washing, she notices that Pacha looks sad (which is because his house will be destroyed) and asks if he is all right, but he says that he is just tired from the trip. She believes him.
Later that night, Pacha finds Kuzco turned into a llama and decides to help him get back his human form. He tells Chicha he is going back to the palace as she told him, and she believes him again. During that night, Tipo has a dream in which his father almost dies (which really happened to Pacha in the jungle) and screams as he wakes up. Chicha quickly comes to see what is wrong. Tipo tells her what he dreamed, and she gently quiets him down. She tells him that Pacha just went to the emperor again, and Tipo says: “Oh, you mean like you told him to, ’cause you’re always right.” Then Chaca wakes up and tells that she dreamed Pacha kissed a llama (what really nearly happened too), and she and Tipo start arguing about it while Chicha just smiles and wishes them good night. Chicha defeats Yzma and Kronk
A few days later, Yzma , who wants to kill Kuzco, and Kronk , her childish sidekick, find out that Kuzco travels with Pacha and decided to seek for Kuzco in Pacha’s house. Of course, Pacha was still in the jungle with the emperor, so when Yzma and Kronk came to his house, they find only Chicha, Chaca, and Tipo. Yzma decided to wait there until Pacha and Kuzco come, and presents herself as Pacha’s third cousin’s brother’s wife’s step-niece’s great aunt, but Chicha doesn’t believe her at all and offers her to come back when Pacha returns. Yzma thinks that Chicha wants her to leave because she is hiding Kuzco in her home. She pretends to accidentally spill a drink, and Chicha try to pick it up but it is hard because she is pregnant. Yzma uses the distraction to tell Kronk she thinks Kuzco is here. She then asks Chicha if she can show her their house, but Chicha at that moment sees Pacha on a window shaking his head, and tells Yzma she has to do something in the kitchen. There, Pacha explains to Chicha that he has to go to the palace with Kuzco who has been turned into a llama. Suddenly, Kuzco appears in front of Chicha and accidentally shocks her with his talk and she impulsively hits him with a pan. He falls unconscious, and Pacha says that llama was Kuzco, which Chicha replies: “Oops.” She promises her husband she’ll help him by holding Yzma in the house so he and Kuzco can run away.
She comes back into the house and offers Yzma to show her the house. She outsmarts her and Kronk so they come in a closet, where she locks them and pull a handle out of the door. Yzma becomes angrier and threatens to burn down their house if they don’t tell them where the talking llama is – Kuzco. She tries to hit the door and bring it down, but Chicha puts the handle back and opens the door at the moment in which Yzma runs on them, falls in a complex tangle of traps that Tipo and Chicha made and fall out of the house. Kronk laughs and tells Chicha that he can’t wait for the next family reunion.
At the end of the film, after Kuzco’s turned back into a human and gives up destroying Pacha’s house, Chicha and the rest of the family becomes friendly with him. Chicha has also finally given birth to her and Pacha’s third child, a baby boy they name Yupi . One day, after Pacha and Kuzco swim in the pool, Chicha comes and gives Kuzco a dry shirt with an image of llama she knitted for him and the two hug as close friends. She then kisses Pacha on the cheek and they three joins the song Perfect World (Reprise) . Edit
In the sequel centering Kronk, Chicha and her family are shown to be good friends with Kronk, and are first seen at Mudka’s Meat Hut . Kronk, Tipo and Chaca are members of Chipmunks Chippers and uses their secret handling. Upon seeing how good her children are in that, Chicha says: “Mmm. Someone’s been practicing” and Kronk replies: “Oh, you’re too kind.” Later, Chicha and her family celebrates Kronk’s success as a chef with some food. Suddenly, Kronk gets a message that his father is visiting and expects Kronk to have a house on a hill, a family, and be a success. “I… I-I’m Chicha.”
Kronk begs Chicha to pretend to be his wife, but she seems a bit insulted by that. Eventually, she agrees. When Papi goes in the diner everybody ran in panic, except for Chicha who comments: “I’ll just stay here, like a sane person.” After meeting Papi, Chicha with a heavy heart says she is Mrs. Kronk, just for her friendship. Papi kisses her hand and asks how did someone like Kronk could win a beauty as Chicha, which she replies: “Well, he just asked… really.” Soon, Pacha goes in the role as Chicha’s mother. When Papi comments that he now see where Chicha got her looks, Chicha just rolled her eyes.
In one moment, one man asks Kronk: “Hey, Kronk, what’s cookin’?” Because Papi mustn’t find out that Kronk is a cook, Chicha says: “lt’s a… a business deal. Oh, Kronk’s always got something cooking” and saves Kronk. Suddenly, old Rudy , Kronk’s friend appears dressed like a woman and pretends to be Kronk’s wife, because he doesn’t know that this role belongs to Chicha. Kronk drags Rudy in the kitchen to explain to him that he doesn’t have to pretend to be Mrs. Kronk. Chicha follows them and says: “I thought I was the lovely Mrs. Kronk.” Rudy laughs and says: “Oh, look at us. Putting on dresses. Pretending to be women”, not realizing that Chicha is a real woman. She gets insulted and opens her mouth to explain who she is, but then Papi appears and requires to know what is happening. A few moments later, lunch that Kronk left to warm explodes, covers all, and splashes Chicha’s mouth.
Then Papi finds out that all of that was just acting, so Chicha finally gives up and takes a broom to clean up exploded lunch. After Kronk admits that he’s not married with children and doesn’t have a house on a hill, Chaca reminds him that he has his friends, Chaca and the others stand in front of him as the sing of solidarity. At the end, Papi congratulates his son because of his success as a loving friend and Chicha celebrates by dancing with the others. Edit
Chicha plays a supporting role in the series. Here, Kuzco’s forced out of the palace, and must graduate from Kuzco Academy to become emperor again. Chicha and Pacha offer to let Kuzco stay with them until he graduates and becomes the emperor again. Although she strongly dislikes Kuzco’s selfish way of life and freeloading ways, she and Pacha ultimately treat Kuzco like he is actually their son and Kuzco sees them as parental figures (even once calling Chicha “mommy”).
In the series finale, after Kuzco finally becomes the emperor again, he invites Chicha and the rest of the family to live with him in the palace, which they accept. Gallery The Disney Wiki has a collection of images and media related to Chicha . Trivia Edit According to the DVD commentary, Chicha is the first pregnant woman seen in a Disney animated feature. “Chicha” is a common name for Native Latin American women. It’s also a type of traditional beer-like beverage common in many parts of South America.
RHONJ ‘The Real Housewives of New’ Jersey — Season 10 Episode 1 Online (Bravo)
Asepplaes Follow Nov 6 · 1 min read The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 10 Episode 1
» Watch Full Series!! https://tinyurl.com/y6qdn7ll
» Latest Episode RHONJ Season 10 Episode 1 Sex, Lies and Video Debates
» Watch Full Eposide The Real Housewives of New Jersey S01E03 Sex, Lies and Video Debates | November 6, 2019
Title : The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Episode Title : Sex, Lies and Video Debates
Release Date : 06 Nov 2019
Runtime : 45 minutes
Genres : Reality
Networks : Bravo
Teresa awaits Joe’s release from prison and transfer to an immigration detention facility as rumors swirl that she is having an affair; Jennifer posts a nasty video about Jackie on Instagram; Jackie says she believes the cheating rumors about Teresa.
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What happened in this episode?
I have a summary for you. Rue gets depressed and watches 22 straight episodes of a British reality show; Jules visits an old friend; Cassie looks for advice in the aftermath of Halloween night.
All About The Series
The Real Housewives of New Jersey centers on CDC researcher Abby Arcane. When she returns to her childhood home of Houma, Louisiana, in order to investigate a deadly swamp-borne virus, she develops a surprising bond with scientist Alec Holland — only to have him tragically taken from her. But as powerful forces descend on Houma, intent on exploiting the swamp’s mysterious properties for their own purposes, Abby will discover that the swamp holds mystical secrets, both horrifying and wondrous — and the potential love of her life may not be dead after all.
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He is someone we don’t see happening. Still, Brie Larson’s resume is impressive. The actress has been playing on TV and film sets since she was 11 years old. One of those confused with Swedish player Alicia Vikander (Tomb Raider) won an Oscar in 2016. She was the first Marvel movie star with a female leader. . And soon, he will play a CIA agent in a series commissioned by Apple for his future platform. The series he produced together.
Unknown to the general public in 2016, this “neigBravor girl” won an Academy Award for best actress for her poignant appearance in the “Room”, the true story of a woman who was exiled with her child by predators. He had overtaken Cate Blanchett and Jennifer Lawrence, both of them had run out of statues, but also Charlotte Rampling and Saoirse Ronan.
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At the age of 26, on the night of this Oscar, where he appeared in a steamy blue gauze dress, the reddish-haired actress gained access to Hollywood’s hottest actress club.
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With its classic and secret beauty, this Californian from Sacramento has won the Summit. He was seen on “21 Jump Street” with Channing Tatum, and “Crazy Amy” by Judd Apatow. And against more prominent actresses like Jennifer Lawrence, Gal Gadot or Scarlett Johansson, Brie Larson signed a seven-contract deal with Marvel.
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There is no sequence of actions that are truly shocking and actress Brie Larson failed to make her character charming. Spending his time displaying scorn and ridicule, his courageous attitude continually weakens empathy and prevents the audience from shuddering at the danger and changes facing the hero. Too bad, because the tape offers very good things to the person including the red cat and young Nick Fury and both eyes (the film took place in the 1880s). In this case, if Samuel Jackson’s rejuvenation by digital technology is impressive, the illusion is only for his face. Once the actor moves or starts the sequence of actions, the stiffness of his movements is clear and reminds of his true age. Details but it shows that digital is fortunately still at a limit. As for Goose, the cat, we will not say more about his role not to “express”.
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Chanel Miller and Evan Rachel Wood Open Up About the Aftermath of Sexual Assault
Chanel Miller and Evan Rachel Wood Unearth the Aftermath of Sexual Assault As told to Olivia Fleming Nov 6, 2019
For our 2019 Women Who Dare series, Chanel Miller, the author of Know My Name , and Evan Rachel Wood, the creator of the Phoenix Act and the #IAmNotOk movement, open up about society’s perverse expectation of the perfect victim, how the justice system is failing sexual assault survivors, and why we need to start measuring trauma.
Evan Rachel Wood: There is an expectation that survivors have to maintain some kind of composure or some certain way of being for the public to feel that they are an acceptable victim. One of the scariest parts for me about coming forward was a smear campaign, or slander, or someone trying to discredit my experience because it’s very re-traumatizing when that happens. No one knew I was being abused, but when the abuse was happening, in the press, it was so traumatic; they were calling me a whore, they were calling me crazy, and they were calling me names before I’d even said anything. I felt like my credibility had already been destroyed, so it made it very difficult to come out during that time. My greatest fear was when I eventually said something, that all of that was going to repeat itself. I was really scared.
What happened to me wasn’t my fault.
— Evan Rachel Wood —
I blamed myself, because I was “misbehaving,” because I was doing things I wasn’t supposed to, I was inappropriate, I was this, I was that. But none of that means I deserved what happened to me. It’s important to say I’m not a perfect person, I haven’t been a perfect person—no one has been, and the punishment should not be torture for being imperfect. I don’t want to present myself to the world like I’m this pure being; I’m just me and I’ve made mistakes. But I know what happened to me—and I’m very clear about this—it wasn’t my fault. I’m still very scared to talk about it, but I know that it’s important because of this idea that you have to be this perfect being that’s never done anything wrong for anybody to take you seriously.
Evan wears a CHANEL dress, $7,750, bracelets, $1,750, necklace, $2,350 and shoes, $1,275, select CHANEL Boutiques Nationwide. Chanel wears a Valentino dress and boots, valentino.com and Sophie Buhai earrings, $535, sophiebuhai.com . Allie Holloway Chanel Miller: I hate that credibility is never a given, that it seems it has to be earned, that in order to earn it, we have to prove that we can be levelheaded and obedient, that we can maintain an even temperament even when we have every right to be angry. For me, throughout the court process, I was doing stand-up comedy to keep myself alive, but I worried that if that got back to the courtroom, they could use that against me to say, “Look at her experiencing joy. How can a suffering person be getting up and immersing herself in laughter?” It’s extremely sad to me that we have this expectation of how we must behave, that looking like a victim has its own identity.
I was doing stand-up comedy to keep myself alive, but I worried they could use that against me.
— Chanel Miller —
Another stunning thing is that I was able to hide this for the last four and a half years. There are so many of us who are masters of concealing our stories. Much of the time, being a victim means appearing completely ordinary. We’re so good at pretending like nothing is happening, like we can keep moving and functioning without missing a beat. And, yeah, in terms of being a perfect victim, I think every victim, as soon as this happens, you find ways to assign yourself blame. You can say, “I was drinking; it was my clothing; I was wearing a T-shirt of his favorite band, which might have been enticing”—we string these up on a little mobile, and we sit beneath him, and we watch it, and we let it consume us. Meanwhile, the real reason is just running off free. We don’t assign blame to the source for so long, and that’s extremely upsetting.
Evan: We just need to be listening to survivors. We keep saying, or assuming, that you should be reacting a certain way. Even after an assault, people think they would react differently in that situation where they don’t understand why you wouldn’t call somebody right away or why you wouldn’t do that. In my case, the statute of limitations had run out on my case. I didn’t report it in time, and a lot of people are very confused by how that could possibly be. “You should have gone to the police right away,” they say, but it’s just coming from a place of ignorance and not malice. I think people just don’t understand the process that you have to go through, the fear that you have to go through, the trauma that you have to work through, so I’m just happy that these conversations are starting to happen. But we do need to be listening to people who have actually experienced it, because they can tell you what the experience is like. You shouldn’t be assigning one to them.
Allie Holloway Chanel: Yeah, even if a victim appears flat, it’s not because she’s unaffected. We all process things differently. Maybe your instinct is to withdraw in an act of self-preservation. I also know that a lot of the times after a bodily violation, victims may turn to toxic sex or drinking, because you already feel like you’ve been deemed worthless, or you feel dirty, or you feel like there are things inside you that you cannot tolerate, and the only answer is to vanquish them, or to punish yourself, or to obliterate them in any way that you can. It’s infuriating that we use that behavior as further proof that this is why she deserved it; we point to it and say, “Well, see, this is the type of girl who this happens to,” when really the root of it is the violence itself. It’s not her flaws, it’s not her misguided judgment; it’s the violence that prompts this behavior, and we have to acknowledge that.
Evan: Absolutely. I also use humor a lot, and I think it confuses people. Even during some of the darkest times when I was being abused, I remember making jokes during it, gallows humor. It was because I felt so trapped in that situation. If I could make a weird joke and laugh, it was the only thing that could get me through and keep me somewhat holding onto one little piece of sanity. But it’s that nervous kind of sad laughter. And I still do it, and I think it does sometimes confuse people. But anybody who knows me knows that I will make a joke in the darkest situation; it’s just how I process things.
Chanel: Yeah. You have to. If you’re being held underwater, it’s like your little straw that you’re breathing through, a little bit of air, a little bit of life. Life is really ridiculous half the time, you can’t take yourself so seriously. And what’s beautiful about it is that it is messy and that it is colorful and that we do make mistakes—that’s part of growing up, but making a mistake is different than committing a crime. Drinking too much is not punishable …
Evan: It’s not a crime.
Chanel: … by law, yeah. And we need to be able to separate this.
Evan: Everything you say can be used against you and twisted. I haven’t seen Unbelievable yet, and I actually have spoken to a couple of survivors who haven’t seen it, because I think it’s something you have to be in the right state of mind for and ready to dive into, and some survivors said, “No, I already know what it’s about, I don’t need to watch it.” But I do want to see it. It’s very important for the rest of the public to watch, and same thing with the R. Kelly footage and when the survivors’ stories came out … I watched all of that, and I encouraged everybody to, because it’s rare to get to see what happens behind the scenes or go into that inner journey of a survivor. If you’re just listening to what the press is writing about, it’s such a condensed, basic version of what happened. These crimes are so complicated, you need the details, you need a long-form story to really even grasp the whole picture. I feel like the Surviving R. Kelly documentary really did that well; they had experts come in and walk people through how these situations come to be, what happens to a person when they’re in it, and that’s what we need to be doing now—really walking people through it.
Chanel wears a Carolina Herrera jacket, $2,490, bergdorfgoodman.com , and pants, $1,390, bergdorfgoodman.com . Jimmy Choo pumps, $895, jimmychoo.com . Alighieri earrings, $515, alighieri.co.uk . Foundrae ring, $3,495, foundrae.com . Allie Holloway Chanel: Like you said, the media bullet-points it, it writes the headlines. I’m more interested, if you’re called to testify for the preliminary hearing, what happens after you testify in those empty months where you’re waiting to be called back to testify for trial. Maybe there’s nothing to report on, maybe it’s mundane, but that is where we need to be looking. How is the victim taking care of herself? How is she keeping herself mentally stable? How is she healing, and how is that healing going to be disrupted when she’s forced again and again to repeat her case? How do you move on in a situation like that? I think the media swells, it comes and it goes, and you’re left trying to put everything back together again.
Evan: It’s funny, I experienced a very similar feeling after the Phoenix Act got signed into law last month. It was this huge moment, and we were all so happy, and the whole year of work had come to a head and we did it. And then I was left alone by myself in my house with this really strange feeling of, right. It’s almost as if I was naively subconsciously expecting everything to go away once that happened, and then it was this reality check of, oh, no, no, all that still happened to you, and you still have to deal with that for the rest of your life. You’re still working through this, you’re still going to have to pick up the pieces. And you’ve moved progress forward, and that’s amazing, but it was this kind of, oh, right, it actually doesn’t help me personally, but the reason I did this was to help other people.
Chanel: I think what happens externally is on a separate timeline than what happens internally. I felt the same way when I got the verdict . I thought, Well, this solves everything, what a perfect ending. And then I went home, and I remember my therapist saying, “Well, now your healing can really begin.” And I was like, “What do you mean begin? I’m done.” But it’s, you can finally turn and face the rest of your life and figure out how your experience will continue to play out, where it will live in your life, how it will continue to inform you.
Evan: I think consciousness is changing, and now we have to put that into action, in prevention and education and better legislation. I did not want to do any of this; I wanted to just raise my kid and not have to do this. But it felt involuntary, it felt like I didn’t have a choice. This thing had happened to me, it was this moment in time, and I had privilege and I had power—if I wasn’t using it, then what the hell am I doing? I think a lot of people are in that place in one way or another, so I think now we need to be having the conversations of, “Okay, but what’s really the problem, and where does it stem from, and how do we stop it before it starts, and how do we create this cultural shift and this different way of thinking, and the way we socialize boys and girls?” That’s the next step.
Allie Holloway Chanel: I felt that same duty to report on what was happening to me. I felt like by going through the criminal justice system, I was in the smallest percentage that even has the opportunity to see what it’s like inside a courtroom. So if I have this experience, I need to really confront it and figure out how to share it; otherwise, it’s lost information. And in terms of mind-set shifts, I think so often, victims think that they haven’t done enough, that they didn’t wear enough clothing, that they weren’t clear enough about what they wanted or didn’t want, that they didn’t report fast enough, that they didn’t collect enough evidence, but it’s always the victim who hasn’t done enough. And I want to make it clear that we are doing plenty. Every time you share your story, that is so immense. It takes so much out of you, and just showing up to face whatever day lies ahead of you, that’s doing plenty. And it’s time for everyone to listen, to step up and understand that we’re all in this. Everybody knows someone who’s been directly affected by this; it’s not us who are not doing enough, it’s society that needs to step up.
Victims think that they didn’t wear enough clothing, that they weren’t clear enough about what they didn’t want, that they didn’t report fast enough, that they didn’t collect enough evidence.
— Chanel Mille r —
Evan: Yes. We need to stop putting all of the responsibility on the survivor’s shoulders.
Chanel: We bear everything all the time just to say, “Can you see that this matters? Does it matter to you? Can you hear me? Can you see me?” People need to see us.
Evan: I get a lot of people asking why I haven’t named my abuser, and actually reading your book, you said, “I want to name myself first,” and that’s it. That’s exactly why I need to name me first and my story, and to help other people. Part of my story is that I’m too afraid, and I forgive myself for that, and I know that’s not my fault. I don’t feel safe. And that’s one of the reasons I wrote the Phoenix Act . So when people ask why I haven’t named my abuser, it’s because I can’t. I just don’t feel safe enough, and that’s part of the problem. I created the Phoenix Act to give people more time, because it took me so long to process everything and to get to a place where I felt even safe enough to speak about the abuse. And it’s scary. I mean, he definitely knows that I’m talking about him, I’m sure he’s caught wind of it, and that’s a terrifying thought. But again, the reason that I really decided to go [public] with this was because I found out he had abused other women. That changed everything. It helped me feel stronger, because it wasn’t just about me—I’m not just fighting for me anymore.
Chanel: Naming comes at a cost. When people say, “Oh, she’s going after him,” really, you think we go into attack mode? Do you know how terrifying it is, do you know how much we sacrifice, how afraid we are of retaliation that we’re pretty much promised from the very beginning? We are just speaking because we have to maintain our own sanity, because we can’t contain these stories. It’s not revenge to me; that’s such a small way of thinking, and it takes the center off the victim. We speak in order to breathe, and we remain the protagonists of our own stories. We do not exist to be a side character in his story or his victim, we do not belong to the people who hurt us, and we continue to own and control our own narratives, and they get to be on the sidelines for once.
Evan: While going through the process of speaking to people behind the scenes who create laws and whose jobs are to make sure everything’s fair, the problem I kept coming up against every time—the main one that upset me the most and that made me realize, oh, this is a bigger problem—is that we don’t want to send people to jail. The system is really clogged, and there’s a lot of systematic racism, and there’s a lot of unfair drug charges. And from what I can tell, there are so many cases of abuse that if we were to let them all in [to the prison system], it would flood. So we play down domestic violence and rape, because it’s so rampant that they don’t want people to know what a problem it is, because they don’t want to send people to jail.
Instead, they put every hurdle in front of the survivor, including discrediting you to make sure that [sending them to jail] doesn’t happen. I think one of the weapons they have is, “Well, but look at his bright future; we don’t want to ruin that”—and that’s also because there’s not a lot of rehabilitation. Sometimes people go to prison and they come out worse, there’s so many issues. What I kept noticing was, oh, you actually have no incentive to send people to jail, and for people to be accountable, because it’s easier to let victims suffer in silence than to have to deal with the actual problem, which is so much bigger. This is opinion of mine from my experience, but that is something that I have noticed.
Allie Holloway And there’s a lot of good laws that can’t be passed, because they will target minorities with them. I had a lot of ideas of how to strengthen the laws around domestic abuse, and we would get feedback of, “This is great, but we can’t pass this.” And I’d say, “Why? It’s common sense.” And they’d say, “Yeah, but some people will use that the wrong way, and so we have to hold progress back so that minorities aren’t targeted.” Things like three-strike rules, which are already used against minorities. Another reason why I advocated for a longer time for victims to report is there are also communities that do not want swift action from law enforcement, they’re afraid of law enforcement, so they’re less likely to call the police or to report. There’s a lot of communities where you’re a snitch, and the saying is, “Snitches get stitches.” So there’s a culture of silence that a lot of people are born into, because they don’t trust law enforcement. There are multiple reasons why people need more time.
Chanel: I think in this system, people of color are often demonized or deemed as dangerous, whereas in my case, my perpetrator was very quickly humanized. He was never labeled as a criminal, he was labeled as a young person who had simply lost his way, but this didn’t define him, this shouldn’t realign the rest of his life. They treated it like this is a temporary lapse in judgment, this is a quick deviation from his behavior, but at the end of the day, he remains a model citizen were it not for his one-time mistake. And that to me is the difference, the labeling of criminality versus excusing in the guise of humanity, you’re just a human. We get it, we make mistakes, that sort of empathy that’s extended toward him.
Evan: And not usually to the victims. Money has a lot to do with it as well. If you have a lot of money, you can get away with a lot, even bail. The justice system is set up for rich people.
Chanel: Yeah, I mean, he was held on five felony counts and was released in less than 24 hours.
Evan: That is so … I’m so sorry.
Chanel: Even hiring a blackout expert for $10,000 to testify in trial. I mean, how do you justify that?
Evan: There are people in jail for pot for life, and those cases, we still haven’t overturned. The thing that should really bother people is if you look at the sentencing for other crimes, there’s harsher punishment for nonviolent crime. I don’t know what the solution is, honestly. Again, it’s a way of thinking, it’s a cultural shift.
Chanel: I think the issue, too, with the light sentencing, I mean, it was light … he served three months for three felonies, so that in itself is light. But what bothered me more was that [his sentence] had failed to calculate not only the assault, but the aftermath of the assault, which we fail to acknowledge so much of the time. The fact that it took 18 months of my life even to get to that sentencing … we’re not incorporating all the harm and emotional damage that is accumulating in your quest for justice; that is largely overlooked.
Allie Holloway Evan: That’s a really great point. That time should be accounted for in his time. I think part of the problem is we haven’t found a way to measure psychological trauma, and we’re terrified to define it in law, because it’s not tangible. They’ll measure abrasions with a ruler, but how do you measure what happens to your psyche? The scars on your psyche … your mind actually changes after you’ve been traumatized. I still have to undo ways of thinking and thought patterns that have been drilled into my mind because of something I didn’t choose. Those are the moments in which I get angry, when I’m still left with this mental aftermath. I still have to live in the same city as my abuser, and I don’t have protection.
When you’ve been abused by somebody in a position of power, a restraining order is not going to help you. If they have a whole network of people, and they’re connected to gangs, or they’re connected to other bad people, [a restraining order] doesn’t really matter. Even if they personally don’t come after you, they might send somebody else to, and they might send somebody to hurt your family. My abuser’s threatened me multiple times, threatened my life, threatened my family’s life, and when I did decide to speak to a lawyer about it, and I thought about saying their name and I said, “Well, can I get a restraining order?” They said, “Well, how long ago was his last threat?” I was like, “Well, I don’t speak to him anymore. It was the last time I saw him, years ago.” Unless the threat’s been made recently, you still can’t get a restraining order.
Chanel: It has to be an explicit.
Evan: I mean, I’ve been threatened so many times I can’t even really count anymore. When there’s a threat against your life, that doesn’t expire. Sometimes I’m terrified to go outside and even get a package. I still have moments of PTSD when the sounds in my house are loud, and I’m convinced I hear footsteps. I’m convinced someone’s coming to get me. Even though intellectually I know this is my PTSD, I still have to sit there and sweat and go through it, it’s something that’s involuntary. My abuse happened over a decade ago, and I’m still dealing with that; we can’t measure that, we can’t charge that, it’s not defined. I think a lot of victims will tell you that sometimes the scars on your mind are so much worse than the physical ones, but we only take into account the things we can see and measure with a ruler.
We haven’t found a way to measure psychological trauma, and we’re terrified to define it in law, because it’s not tangible.
— Evan Rachel Wood —
Chanel: Beautifully said.
Evan: I don’t know what the future will be like, but right now I think it’s, like you said in your book, I want to name myself first, I want to tell my story. I’m not quite ready for it to be about [him] right now.
Chanel: You also get grouped with your abuser, or your photos go up together in the headlines, and you want to be able to create that separation to not be constantly alongside him. You’re worried about just being able to live inside your house, to pick up a package without having to look over your shoulder constantly. That’s a very simple ask, but it’s not something that we’re always given. And it infuriates me when I see people like [Brett] Kavanaugh getting so angry over reputation damage; meanwhile, we cannot get even a sliver as angry for bodily violation, and that continues to be the case.
I talk about catcalling in the book and how I began to question how much we’re expected to tolerate, how much we are expected to absorb. We’re taught to keep our heads down and to not be confrontational or to endanger ourselves by talking back, starting that fire—but really, he’s starting the fire, and we’re trying to speak up for ourselves. I think so often in those situations, you would be blamed for talking back, or being rude, or not just going on your way.
Evan: Oh, yeah, you’re immediately met with anger and hostility. Because I am bringing up a son, I try to understand the behavior, and to go, “No, that was not okay, but why do you feel the need to get angry at me? What is it inside of you that is empty and that is hurting and that didn’t get nurtured, and wasn’t empowered to know that you have so much more value than what you’re projecting into the world right now?” I don’t know. This is coming from somebody raising a boy, that’s how I try to think of it.
Allie Holloway Chanel: I think what’s changing is that we are putting the responsibility on men to amend themselves, to look internally at why they’re doing this to us, because we don’t want to hear it anymore.
Evan: And in a culture that teaches men to not look internally and to not ask themselves these questions, to not think about their emotions or feelings, or how their behavior stems from something else, it’s also just giving them that language and making room for accountability. Sometimes it’s hard not to be angry, but again, I think it’s … I don’t know, showing them that way into themselves, giving them a language, teaching them how to ask themselves those questions and how they can change by saying, “I don’t think you’re a monster, but I think you need to go inward a bit; I don’t think you’ve been taught how to do that, and that’s sad.” That’s a tragedy in itself, and a lot of women bear the brunt of that. That’s why I really try to advocate for prevention, because these things are instilled at such a young age, and the older you get the harder they are to undo. And there’s all this stigma around therapy, and there’s all this stigma around getting help. A lot of that needs to change.
Part of the way we socialize boys, and this is just coming from the men who I’ve spoken to, they were shamed if they didn’t act a certain way around their male peers, away from women, and calling out that behavior is just as important as if you see something bad happening to a woman and you want to step in to save the day—yes, that’s obviously amazing and great, but you also need to do it behind closed doors when there are no women present. That’s when you’re really going to have to be brave. Thy call it the man box, you get stuck in this man box. A Call to Men is an organization that teaches men different techniques and coping mechanisms to help them understand why they may behave in a certain way, and they say to get out of the man box takes bravery, to step out and go, “Actually, maybe we shouldn’t talk this way, it seems a little offensive. No? Anybody?” I think we also need to start framing this as a man’s problem as well, and not in the way that they’re the bad guys, but in a way that nobody is born hoping to grow up to be a rapist. Something happens to a boy that turns him or makes him think that this is acceptable, and that in itself is a tragedy, that we’ve lost a young boy to society or to a culture that accepts this, that tells him that there’s nothing he can do, that’s just how he is, and that’s just how men are, and that they’re terrible, and there’s no real incentive there to change. I just hope we can teach men that they’re valuable.
ALLIE HOLLOWAY Chanel: That was wonderful.
Evan: I still get shaky when I talk about this stuff. I feel okay, but my body still …
Chanel: Doesn’t like it.
Evan: … knows.
Chanel: I talk about it, revisiting the trauma, almost like an undertow, something that pulls you out into the water, and you have to constantly keep coming up for air and resurfacing. But what changes is how quickly you are able to resurface each time. And even when I was writing, I thought, I have to describe the initial assault, I have to describe it again in the preliminary hearing, then the trial, and the sentencing, and I thought, How do I continue to tell the same story over and over again without making it boring, without simply repeating facts. And what I learned is that the facts remain the same, but you are changing within that story. Pay attention to how you are growing, to how you are gaining power, all those subtle shifts are happening, even though it feels like everything is repetitive, even though each time you feel like you’re back at square one, you’re having panic attacks again. It’s okay to reimmerse yourself in it, as long as you know that you are not the same person as you were the first time, that each time you’re revisiting the experience, you’re coming away differently, and you’re coming away a little more powerful than you were before, because each time you resurface, you think, Wow, I did that and I’m still here. So pay attention to your power.
Evan: Sometimes when I start to spin out, I’ll read something or listen to a podcast, or I’ll listen to an audiobook that describes what I’m going through that will break the trauma down for me, will break down the experience, and then that calms me, because I can put words to what I’m feeling. And it makes me not spin out and feel out of control. That really helps. I think you’re right that every time you tell your story, it’s different. I’ve testified a few times now for the bill, and every time I think, This time’s going to be easier, because I’ve already done it once or twice, and it’s always just as hard. It’s always such an intense experience. But it is always different, and I do walk away with this bittersweet feeling of, I’m so sad that this is my story, but I’m so proud of myself that I said it and that I feel heard. That was the most gratifying thing for me throughout the process.
I definitely had people try to block us, come up against this. I’ve been yelled at, I’ve been told that I’m fake—you have to deal with a lot of that, and a lot of naysayers and people who try to take your truth away from you. But if you are telling the truth, there’s nothing anybody can do to throw you off course. And if you can just sit in that and hold onto that, it doesn’t matter what anybody else says. The greatest thing I took away from my experience was being able to sit in a room full of people who can create change and just tell my story. Even if they voted against the [Phoenix Act] bill, which they didn’t, but even if they did, just knowing that people were stopping and listening to our stories, that meant so much. I didn’t realize how much it would mean just to have somebody listen to you and to validate your experience. That’s so much in itself.
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